10 April 2007

Complex Babysitting


I love living here in the Pacific NW. Can you see why I am typically armed with my camera? You just never know when a barn will catch your eye. At least I am not living out in this barn. I think it has cow poopies in the field.

So, I'll make this short and sweet. Our house had an offer, and sold in a week and a half. We moved everything in three days and closed within 10 days. wow.

The kids love their rooms and are trying to test the soundproof-ability of the walls between us and our neighbors. I sound like a recording now, "NO RUNNING!".

Mr. Coffee is attempting to fit all 62 boxes of books into bookshelves in our living room.

I'm settling in, enjoying my kitchen which doesn't look big in the pictures. Oh, but the storage...it's divine.

I was with friends, shopping for a vacuum at Best Buy and saw some washing machines that I would seriously consider marrying and having little washing machine babies. They were so pretty, and front-loadingish. The next house we buy will have these gracing it's laundry room.

I've also encountered an unusual phenomena where complete strangers are encouraging their children, ranging in ages 4-10, to converge upon our new abode. These are the same children who's parents have no problem with me, a perfect stranger, babysitting their offspring. I'm a little sickened that I haven't met one parent here. And. They. Keep. Sending. Me. Their. KIDS.


I open the door, "Hello?"

A small child in front of me looks up with big eyes, "Hi, can your kids play?"

I squat down a little to his level, "Well, they can't come out right now, they're doing homework."

The child stares blankly.

Me: "Were is your Mommy?"

"She just had a baby, " he replied matter of fact.

"Oh," I was a bit surprised as I thought to myself, "Why have another when you don't take care of this one??!"

"How old are you?" I was curious, and since this child was so forthright, I had no qualms in asking him questions.

Child: "Four."

Me: "Does your Mommy or Daddy know where you are?"

Child: "Uh-huh...playin' outside...."

I know it's judgmental but these parents wouldn't leave a stinking bike out in the stairwell, but they let their kids leave for hours at a time, talking without reserve to strange adults. I guess being a mom with kids qualified me as safe. This has initiated the 'no neighbor kids allowed over' rule. On second thought, I am also tempted to send the innocent visitors home with this note:

Dear Parent,

I am new in the complex and would love to have your kids over. I spank but don't leave too many bruises in case they get out of hand.

Feel free to send your kiddies over anytime after school...except for Tuesdays when I meet my parole officer, oh, and Friday nights cause I go out on my 'second job' and there's no one home with the kids. Your kids can come on weekends if they don't mind helping my kids rolling their dad's "cigarettes".

Otherwise, I just set them up in front of the Gameboy and they are pretty quiet. I'm pretty hung over until noon, so make sure your kids know not to knock too loud in the morning or I wake up in a foul mood. I don't mind, either if you send over some granola bars or cheetos, or something your kids eat. All I have here is warm beer and protein bars (my kids never complain)

Here is my cell number in case I get extradited and you have to pick your kids up from Child Services. Ask for my parole officer over there. She's is really nice. She knows my kids real well.

~Bee is SO tempted right now

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