17 May 2007

Roll Em

Imagine my surprise pulling up to the pump and seeing this when I get out. And I thought my van cost a bundle to fuel up. $99.70! Translation?

"I shouldn't have bought this SUV."


In other news, I have discovered a very effective way to cut back that lengthy, unmanageable blog roll. When you get carpal tunnel scrolling through the list, it's time to freshen things up. Everyone wants more readers but I've compiled 10 effective ways to cut down your blog roll and subsequently your readers.

1) Consistently complain about other boring blogs because someone threatened your life if you didn't sit there and read them.

2) Liberally blog about feeds, flash, HTML, templates and the ever popular dropping constant advice like Dear Abby has passed the torch to you.

3) Change your template and or URL every 10 days or so.

4) Alternate your postings between blogging music lyrics then memes.

5) Post how you feel like a cow along with your food diary, colon purges, caloric intake and number of lbs lost in the last 24 hours.

6) SPAM your blogroll.

7) Post controversially on any of the following: Iraq, the President, Homeschoolers, Stay at home moms, Go to work moms, your ex, Nancy Pelosi/Fire Marshall Bill, Chubby Chasers, etc...

8) Actively convert everyone on your blog to your religion: Goat worship, Buddhist, The Church of Starbucks, Mormon, Catholic, Christian, Wicca, Right Wing, Left Wing, Bat Wing, and Worship of the Krispy Kreme God.

9) Post once every three weeks and say, "I'm back" then abandon blog for another three weeks. Repeat. Make sure your posts include excuses why you are so busy.

10) Youtube.

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe