12 August 2007

Cause I Invented TV and the Grocery......

I was behind this girl at the grocery yesterday. I laughed at her. I laughed hard. It's not like me to blatantly laugh at someone. I was trying not to, looking at my feet, hoping she wouldn't notice. I couldn't help it. She kept talking really fast and ending all her sentences like thiiiiiis while the tone keeps going uuuup....and going on...and on....

I know, I'm so bad. I feel dirty.

I think it's so odd when someone has such a bad opinion of themselves that they require telling you all they know, own and experience. Such as twenty-something, Grocery Girl talking to the cashier yesterday.

"I went to Cancun last week, and was in a hot tub.."

[flip blonde / black hair to show off giant ugly Chanel logo on sunglasses and display freshly adorned, cute little butterfly tattoo on neck]

"...and I ran into people that live just four houses down from my house. Oh my gahhh, It's a small world."

[flip hair]

"Cause I bought a house last year, over by the mall in the 'upscale area'. I used to live here but it's so small town I moved away, but now I'm back. "

[flip hair and adjust yoga pants so thong shows better]

"Have you had that cheese, cause it's imported. I'm having a cheese and wine tasting party tonight with some girlfriends..."

[flip hair while aloof and silent cashier rings up purchases]

"My girlfriends are going to love this wine, cause it's $20 bucks.....it better be good...I hope four bottles will be enough...."

[I look down at my feet and start shaking trying my best to push down my laughter. Avoid obvious stares of cashier and girl who is now fully annoyed that I can only be laughing at her]

.......[uncomfortable silence].

She thanks cashier and almost leaves behind her Chanel sunglasses, "Can't leave these, they are $300 glasses!" as she grabs them off the counter.

It's so bad of me, but I felt sad this girl was so insecure she had to prove everything she did. All I could think of was Penelope from SNL.

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe