12 December 2007

Why Read When There Is TV?

Yesterday I decided it was time for my kids to own their own library card. I've used mine for years but I think it's good for them to have their own. I've always encouraged my children to read and now that they are past the Toddler Book Shredding stage, I have no fear of inadvertently bankrolling the library's new book department via damage fines. We came, we saw, and sported newly acquired cards held triumphantly in little hands. We left armed with scads of books...no less than 50 books between them. My youngest, now 4, couldn't even carry her bag. I could not be more proud.

Most holiday seasons I typically take up employment at the closest bookstore and bring home my paycheck in book form. Problem solved. Christmas shopping is done and the kids end up with a years worth of reads. Mr. Coffee is the exception with his yearly declaration, "Look what you got me for Christmas!". He is so thoughtful that way.

In the evening, everyone settled in their stories while I folded laundry and watched the news. I don't know why but last night it was particularly humorous. Case in point:

Caught on tape: Couple steals a nearly life-sized nativity scene.
Holy freaking cow. I'd say there are no words...but nothing says Christmas spirit like displaying a stolen nativity scene. Seriously? Who in their right mind steals baby Jesus..its baby JESUS! Can you imagine triumphantly stuffing Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus in the back of a pickup? Would the eyes of baby Jesus follow you around as you guiltily strap him in the back?  

Okay hurry Marge, you grab the wise dudes and I'll get the rest. Did you bring the bungee cords?

Fast Food Chain Puts Limits on Dining Time.
I didn't catch this in it's entirety, but a fast food chain franchise (McDonalds, I think) is putting up a limit for eating in their dining area. Maybe this is to prevent loitering patrons? The food is bad enough for your health, but perhaps with the franchise making you sick from eating too fast will avoid any expensive obesity lawsuits down the road.  

Free barf bags with every child's meal! woo hoo.

The commercials were just as fun.

Now with Granola Bar Seats!
A manufacturer is now marketing a new Wonder Van with pivoting captains chairs in the middle row, naturally in white leather.

White seats? Are you serious? Let's just create a feature of granola bars and cheerios stuffed into the seats and eliminate any foolhardy declarations of "no food in the van" (and broken within 4 weeks).
I was in awe at Wonder Vans pivot and lock feature of the middle chairs, not to mention the odd lack of glowing dash warning lights. Tell me, is this standard? I would love to own this van, simply because the seats are properly pivoted then your children can wail on each other face to face. This feature not only gives ample room for kicking and hitting, but it also leaves none at a disadvantage when spitting and throwing things. As you might well know, fighting from the middle seats while reaching toward the sibling behind you puts you at a great handicap.

I don't know why I even read books when there is laughable TV. Speaking of laundry, I have a mountain of it and a template to finish. I've also been tagged with a very funny meme and I've won awards. More of that on Friday....