09 January 2008

How Was Your Day?

I went to bed last night and slept so soundly until late this morning. As in, a whole 45 minutes before we were supposed to leave. Two showers and one hunt for a missing homework folder later, we arrived at school 5 minutes late.

Darn it.


Next time I'm taking my time machine. Delorian?

I got my Crate and Barrel magazine in the mail this week. I'm drooling over the new kitchen stuff. Have you seen C&B? You can request your free catalog here. It's like Kitchen p0rn, except with more clothes and a lot more garlic.

The good news is if I only had $8500 I could get what I'd like. I'd end up making my kids 100lbs by feeding them cookies every day after school. 

Speaking of school, my 9 year old is required daily by his school teacher to make Home Notes. These are short two, three sentences that tell me about his day. It's designed to open dialog between child and parent. Ideal, really.

Mr Coffee and I find that these notes have become an inexhaustible source of humor. Also a delightful peek into Max's inner workings.

Bold text is the form letter portion of the Home Note. All spelling and punctuation are in the original.

Date: 15 Oct 2007
Dear Parents,
I had a wonderful day!
We had sandwiches for
lunch, literacy, creative
movement, choice reading,
everything! How was
your day?
Please select one:
◘Busy
◘Great
◘Good
◘Awful
Sincerely,
Max


Dear Son,
Choice reading is the best reading. I'm suddenly reminded I need to start saving more money for your college education.
PS. Busy AND Great, thank you.
Sincerely,
Mom


Date: 24 Oct 2007
Dear Parents,
The [2 hour] late start made
the day a little bit
boring, all though
we did observe
Wisconsin Fast Plants.
How was your day?
Sincerely,
Max


Dear Son,
You may not care for a 2-hour late start at school but this means I get to sleep in. Wisconsin Fast Plants? Is that the preferred Chia Pet for 3rd graders?
Sincerely,
Mom



Date: 26 Sep 2007 - 2:50pm
Dear Parents,
I had a great day. I had
science, and a math test,
everything! How was your day?
I played with Jared, Zus, and
Reed. Reed's BROTHER likes the devil.
Sincerely,
Max


Dear Son,
You and I both had a great day. Science and math are so cool, aren't they?
(note to self: Reed's brother scares me)
It doesn't matter what other people think. It matters what you think. Jesus tells us to love everyone.

Sincerely,
Mom



Date: ? Nov 2007
Dear Parents,
I had art and made MASKS!
We also did our "R" s, Map testing,
at recess, robbing fake Gems, EVERYTHING!
How was your day?
Sincerely,
Max


Dear Son,
I'm glad you did your R's, son. Reading, 'Riting and 'Rithmetic. That makes me proud. Those will do you well throughout your life. In great contrast, doing 5 to 10 years in the clink for robbing faux jewelry stores will not. I wonder why your school is promoting mask making for your burglary stints.
Sincerely,
Mom

~Bee loves open dialogs

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kitchen pr0n!

Anonymous said...

i like the fact that you have to 'order' a catalogue.

over here they simply chuck them in your letter box, and my 'no junk mail' sticker seems to fall on deaf eyes.

(resultingly, wife has to have every freakin gadget known to mankind)

Anonymous said...

I found this post very choice reading.

Anonymous said...

this was very funny. i just got my daughter an email address. talk about the laughter! gotta love it.

i only *had* kids because of the humour potential.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to start adding "everything" to the stuff I write--blog postings, work memos, thank you notes, EVERYTHING!

Awesome.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I love C&B, too. A great day is when I get to go to Williams Sonoma, Restoration Hardware, and Crate & Barrel all in the same day. Throw in a good cup of coffee, and it really doesn't get much better.

Anonymous said...

If he misspelled anything, I missed it. I guess I need to hire him to correct my homework.

Is this what happens when you let your children watch Sponge Bob?

Anonymous said...

That is cute. I love how he says, "everything!"

cracks me up

Anonymous said...

Maybe my wife and I should do one of these!

That is cool. I wish my life revolved around recess again.

~Jef

Anonymous said...

Kids are so funny! I'd love to know the thought process behind the addition of "everything" to well, everything. Hee hee.

Anonymous said...

Reed's brother likes the devil. Hilarious. Didn't see that one coming.

Anonymous said...

whats with the "everything!" comment?

So do these notes prevent him from having to actually talk to you when you pick him up?

Anonymous said...

I'm ordering my free catalogue as soon as I'm done with this comment.

Um.....in true Spelltard form, I saw no mispellings.

Anonymous said...

OMG!! That's too funny!! Robbing fake Gems... the best

Anonymous said...

If you're going to rob jewelry stores, always go for the REAL gems. Bee, I thought you were teaching your kids better than that.

I love that Max cares so much about your day too. Very cute!

Anonymous said...

Max is awesome!

He sounds like a REAL gem.

And what is with the school system these days? Grand larceny is NOT a desirable skill for someone that young. High school, maybe, but...

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe