03 April 2008

Cure of the Fight Against the Ride

Sometimes I laugh at myself.

In fact, I do it regularly. The way my brain processes ideas baffles even myself. Today may be one of those days when you wonder if I even have a brain, let alone possess any logical thought or ideas. Oh, don't let my side bar fool you, my friend is cycling to help fight against MS, to help FIND a cure for MS. I swear I wrote that sentence five times before it came out without a double negative.

~typing furiously~

Fighting the cure.....

~stop typing~

um, duh...hello.

~rolling eyes and continue typing~

Fighting a cure against MS.....

~dead stop~

BEE IS. brain. dead....

~resist urge to bang head on keyboard, resume typing~

Cycling against the fight......



See what I mean? Intelligence is not home, but the thoughts are here, leave a message! BEEEEP.

My problem is, I don't think in order.

1)step one
2)step two
3)step three

That would be far too normal.

I usually process an idea that starts as a simple synaptic firing in my brain. This infant brain child is then put into a 1970 lime green AMC Gremlin with faux brown, side paneling and driven on a scenic route through my spleen and liver before it makes it's grand appearance completely out of gas.

Reason opens the intelligence door like a good parent and your Brain Child is out of it's car seat and digging for cheerios wedged in the back completely unaware that it's supposed to look and act like an IQ over 50. After the Brain Child is attacked by enough white blood cells to knock out any semblance of logic or reason, it's then primed for paper by speech. It's pulled and tugged from the maze of the mind, but not before trolling through my sinus cavity, emerging with a brand new dragon tattoo and multiple piercings.

This thought has now gone postal on me and it hasn't even left the building.

It is only then that I can express my thought in such an adroit manner, thanks to a steady diet of Chris Farley movies, Wikipedia editing, black coffee, and by golly, nurturing all that I retained when I was home schooled. I hit publish convincing all those around me that I am indeed a complete idiot who is also a pro at ending her sentences in prepositions and splits regularly, her infinitives. But hey, I have a cool dragon tattoo and an even more random blog post.

I assure you I am no idiot, just a Thinker who can't help but enjoy the scenic view of her liver.

~Bee is diagramming that sentence after she eats shoots and leaves


Gen said...

In the blog world all grammar rules take a back seat to readability and entertainment value. No worries. Guess how many times I had to type that? LOL blogging + beer = stupidy. Oh well. Stupidity is funny.

MS needs to be cured now. I lost a friend due to complications of MS. Good cause, no matter how you write it. :-)

Anonymous said...

and I'm a Feeler....however that just doesn't sound right no matter how you type it ;)

Ed (zoesdad) said...

My grammar always drove and scared me when she did it. She also smelled like moth balls.

... Paige said...

You know if you offered photo shots of the Whole canned chicken I'd bet someone would pay for 'em. I mean make a donation to see 'em.
Wonder if that is legal?
Has to be, right? I mean if you can ride a bike, walk or whatever for donations you could do opening a Whole canned chicken photo shots.
Think about it...

I know, I know for an encore you post photos of the kids as they try out the chicken.
Yeah baby.

Anonymous said...

You know me- I'm definitely in support of that cause- and very rarely am I able to make a sentence come out sounding good... I'm even MORE eloquent in real life. NOT!

Whistle Britches said...

How in the world did you get your keyboard to type and print in Greek?

Anonymous said...

Did a certain "tony" design your tatoo?

My butt hurts real bad

Anonymous said...

did I spell tatoo wrong? oh well, there are worse things that could happen like getting fired AGAIN and having people refuse to kill you

Blank said...

I am more of a cluster bomb kind of thinker. Painful.

Tara R. said...

I definitely type faster than I think... makes for some interesting sentences.

holly said...

thinking? we are suppose to think? oh dang. i knew i forgot something. which is to say, i *done* fergot it.

Dapoppins said...

does Chris Farley use big words too?

Jo Beaufoix said...

Bu**er. This is me.
Ah well. ;)

Foo said...

Thanks for the PR, Bee!

By the way, I enjoyed the insight into the thought process you go through as you try to being a new posting. I'm right there with you, and all I have to say is that it's a good thing my backspace key works, or there'd be whiteout all over my monitor.

Suzy-Q said...

Who did you shoot before you left?

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe