05 October 2008

The Survey Says..UPDATED

Q and A is great for a busy (lazy?) blogger like me this week. I need to get around and say hello to those who think I've fallen off the planet. In the meantime, you asked, I listened and now I shall pour forth my worldly wisdom.

Blogger Millie said...I'm interested in the hot tub thing. Bunny once tried to get freaky with me in one but I was too modest.
Dear Millie,
I am just as modest, but if you are in a private whirlpool at a hotel room they still puts lots of chlorine in the water. You can pretty much chemically burn your nether regions right out of the mood. I'm just saying, I don't recommend ever getting freaky in this manner.

Blogger Groovy Mom said...Ditto what Millie said.
Dear Groovy Mom,
Ditto to what I told Mills. There is nothing close to that kind of pain except for childbirth, going bathing suit shopping, or watching a Barney marathon for 4 hours.

Blogger Ian said...could you tell me how you'd fix Death Race so it wasn't so sucky?
Dear Ian,
I'm hoping you mean the movie, because I know of no other Death Race. I would eliminate the death part and make Jason Statham a smooth talker, who transports things in his car. He will be more of a guy that prefers the uncomplicated life for himself. Cut out the blood, the racing, and have him make rules like "never open the package". Make sure there are some awesome fight scenes and have the film directed by Luc Besson. Call the movie "The Transporter". This makes Death Race not so sucky. In fact, I may even call it one of my top favorite movies. PS. Jason Statham and I share the same birthdate.

Blogger Heffalump said...Yes...do tell about the Hot Tub.
I'd really like to know also how you found out that kind of info about said hot tub.
I'd also like the grass stain remover, a remover for getting ink from a ball point pen out of clothes...
Dear Heff,
I plead the fifth on how I gain said knowledge. As for grass stains, you can use a bleach alternative and scrub. Allow to sit about 30 minutes and launder. If it does not get it out, you can use a digestive enzyme, like acidophilus and mix it with water to make a paste. Rub it in and allow to sit for an hour. Launder as usual. I've heard of 1T. of ammonia to two cups water, then scrub at the spot. I'd recommend this only if it is a light-colored fabric. Test a spot with ammonia/water solution before treating the grass stain. Ink is best removed with rubbing alcohol, with an absorbent pad or towel under the fabric. Work from the backside of the stain to push the stain out, not deeper in the fabric. Move pad/towel frequently while blotting. Wash with (color safe) bleach. You can also apply hair spray or insect repellent and rub. Launder as usual. And you probably already know not to dry it until the stain is out as heat will set your stain.

Blogger Mrs4444 said...Have you always had such gorgeous, long tresses? If not, do you have any old photos to share of you in...say, a pixie cut?
You are so sweet to say that. I prefer long hair because then I can hide my backwards mullet growing out my adam's apple-neck region. I have had short hair, like Demi Moore in Ghost. That was back when I got married. I'll have to dig up photos and beat on my scanner to make it work. It's decided this last week to not scan anymore.

Blogger Dapoppins said...How do I get that scaly rash stuff off of my sons forehead?
If it's craddle cap, then use a soft baby hairbrush and gently brush his hair during a bath. If he is older, tell him to quit holding the frogs at the pond and wiping sweat off his brow shortly after. If that doesn't work, buy a brillo pad and scrub his head clean. Apply ointment immediately after because there may be some redness and discomfort.

Blogger Jo Beaufoix said...Why is it that goats can't do handstands? I mean, they're so good at jumping and climbing and stuff, you'd think they'd have mastered handstands by now.
They really can but they do them at night when no one is looking. The older ones have a more difficult time of it, only because their larger horns tend to change their center of gravity to a tipping point.

Blogger Lynellen said...Bee, I would really love some tips on how to train my super-shy dog to "come" since she won't eat treats out of my hand. That kind of knowledge would be very helpful.
Dear Lynellen,
Welcome to my bloggage and thanks for asking. I don't have experience with dogs with my boys being allergic. However I've read that when you do discipline your dog, use a rolled up newspaper and never your hand. They need to know an outstretched hand is a good thing they are able to trust. Treats or no treats.

Blogger holly said...how many licks does it take to get to the centre of that sucker? OR how much wood wood a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? i have always always wanted to know, and no one will tell! and tom cruise. is he really that insane?
Dear Holly,
You must be doing it wrong if you are licking your way to lolly pop oblivion. I always chew my lollies half way through them. 2) A wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck, if a wood chuck chuck wood. 3)Tom Cruise's insanity is difficult to gauge. Is this David Blane kind of insane or Jim Jones' kind of insane? I'm leaning toward the Flavor-Aid variety.

Blogger ... Paige said...So how does one go about getting one of those genie's in a bottle? and if you can tell me how to get it in there please let me know if it is legal to toss it in a landfill?
Dear Paige,
Cremation is the preferred and least amount of hassle to getting a genie in a bottle. I believe it is legal however, if you are someone who is 'green', I wholly recommend putting the bottle out in the glass recycling and letting them deal with it. I've heard they get weird things like jars of teeth, or gallstones, etc...

Blogger...The Doozie said...Why does the masked marauder sleep in his mask?

Dearest The Doozie,
Because the Unmasked Marauder does not have the same ring to it. Besides, his mask has a lavender and eucalyptus gel pouch on the other side so his eyes never get too puffy and it's a great relaxation after a long day of killing..or stabbing or what have you. Puffy eyes also mean the mask holes don't match up well and then he might as well be the Blind Marauder.

Blogger... R said...What I DO want to know is why exactly is the sky blue because I am SICK of telling my kids that it is the ocean's reflection. And---Why does George Catlin's son look like Tintin?
Dear R,
You are right, just backwards. The blue from the water is the sky's reflection. Unless it's the water in the potty, then it just means you have one of those cool bleachy things and coincidentally, a very clean potty.

Oxygen and nitrogen atoms in our atmosphere disrupt the rays of the sun. The rays contain all colors, but the blue rays are the shortest wave length (red being the longest). Blue rays are also the most scattered when the rays hit our Oxygen/nitrogen atmosphere so we see more blue than any other color. If it was the opposite and the longest wave length color was scattered most, we'd have a red sky. Cool, huh? I remember this from 7th grade, don't ask me how. Lord knows, I can't even remember if I put on deodorant today.

~doing the pit sniff test~ Yeah, we are good.

As for George Catlin's son? I'd say he looks more like Waldo sans hat, than like Tintin. Now if he looked like Tonto, then you would know he didn't just paint those Indians.

Blogger...Cathouse Teri says..Why is it that people say they could care less when what they really mean is that they couldn't care less?
Dear Cathouse Teri,

This saying is one of those botched sayings that is perpetuated by people who couldn't care less. Rather like way back when, when someone in the deep South said, "You are the spirit and image of your father!" With a strong Southern accent you'd think you heard, "You are the spittin' image of your father." Who would want to look like their spitting father?

This concludes Q and A for today. Thank you all who sent me questions.

~Bee likes to say, "Knowledge is not power. It's the implementation of knowledge that is power."


R said...

I am miffed you didn't answer my questions. Mine were the best.

DFTF said...

Your knowledge of all things, both useless and useful, astounds me. You're almost as good as Google! (Google is still my first love.)

Jo Beaufoix said...

Bea, you are not only gorgeous but a blumming genius too. Sighh. And I had never thought of the gravity thing with goats. It all makes complete sense now. Maybe the horned ones should carry handbags to balance them out.

Lisa Milton said...

And here I thought my kids were the only one gaining knowledge today.

I feel so smart now.

Bee Repartee said...

I didn't know you had commented. You sneaker, you...

Bee Repartee said...


R said...

You just can't be stumped.

Look at the painting of Catlin's son in indian garb. He looks so much like a lead character in a Herge comic it would blow your mind. But I can take whatever answer you say because you know, maybe my eyes are wrong. I know YOU aren't.

McBunni said...

You so smart!

holly said...

i love you and i love your funny-*ss self!!!

thanks so much for that lolly/woodchuck/tom cruise assistance. i am FOREVER grateful.

ancient one said...

You are so funny... now how many times have I said that? LOL

Flip Flop Momma said...

i always miss the good shit..

i never even got to ask a question..

im goin home now..

Mrs4444 said...

You are freaking hilarious, Woman! Definitely LMAO over here...

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe