24 December 2008

My Mother Of The Year Nomination Is Revoked


I have really tried this year. I wanted to be Mother of The Year. I was sure to win it only until I got to the part of the competition for Crafty Mom. Dang it.

This winter school break has been fun with all the snow but I wanted something extra fun they could do. Now that I don't have toddlers to keep out of the presents and away from the glass ornaments, I was ready to attempt it.

Holiday Crafts.

I know, me..the woman who attempted sewing vintage aprons and ended up with really big, expensive dish rags.

As for the kids, they are always up for a good craft. Edible crafts are the best and not just the glue. We started with making our own cookie ornaments. It's not difficult to make cookies and with my grasp of things in the kitchen, I felt very brave. I called my friend, Dapoppins, to ask her for her ornament recipe. But since she answers her phone once in a three month period, I thought it best to google the recipe like any smart mother would.

I googled. We crafted. They stuck to the baking tray like Mother Crafting Piece of Junk.

This is the recipe.

Equal parts applesauce and cinnamon.
Add 1 teaspoon of glue for every ½ cup of ingredients.
You can bake them to accelerate the hardening process.

HOW can you mess this up?! Well, you couldn't. I can always find a way.

Once the kids were finished playing with the dough and shapes, we laid them out. I was so proud of us until 3 hrs later, I had to chisel them off the stupid baking tray.

I talked with Dapoppins a day later and she said to leave out the glue. Her ornaments look and smell amazing year after year. Man, I hate her....and I'm saying that with as much love as I can muster with dismembered gingerbread ornaments at the bottom of my garbage can.

Next trip to the grocery and I scored a gingerbread house kit thingie. 75% off should have been a clue to what I'd be buying. The kids were excited at another stab at crafting and I wanted to be able to say I made one craft with the kids.

I needed to bolster my craft cred.

We laughed, sang along to music, and had fun building together. Sadly, our attempts at a gingerbread house looked more like the Gingerbread Man was living in a repo-ed Gingerbread FEMA trailer. Down by the river.

I failed miserably but the kids had fun and that's what Christmas crafts are about. Laughing hysterically at the Partially Dismembered Ornament People living in the Gingerbread Projects.

~Bee wishes you a very Merry Christmas.
Listening to: Song For A Winter's Night by Sarah McLachlan


Rebecca Blevins said...

FEMA trailer? That's hilarious!

Well, at least you made the effort. Crafting with kids gone wrong can make some of the best memories.

Anonymous said...

Our gingerbread house is pretty horrible. You are not alone. I gave up on crafts. If I did crafts I wouldn't be able to blog. LOL

Love to you and yours on Christmas!

Doozie said...

You know, somethings gotta give, and this time it was your direction following skills, or maybe......it was the diabolical plan of the retailers to squelch your mother of the year plans? we might never know

That Janie Girl said...

That's too cute!

Gingerbread FEMA trailer down by the river. Ha!~

Dapoppins said...

Yes, I am a crafty queen, except for the time I tried to hurry the project along and burned all the bottoms black. But they still didn't stick to anything....and then there is the ornament fiasco of 05...yes. good times!

stephanie said...

At least you try. My poor kids will surely remember their mom as a killjoy in the crafts department.

Foo said...

I don't know about all that, but I just love your Dinsdale.

I've been thinking of trying to find a plush hedgehog somewhere, the better to entertain my fellow Monty Python geek who now sits on the other side of my cubicle wall (not to be confused with the belching/farting/loud phone talking tool who used to sit on the other side of the cubicle wall at our previous office). I currently crack him up by waving an 8 1/2"x11" sheet of paper with "Dinsdale" printed on it in a 200pt font, but a plush animal would be better. Don't you think?

Jo Beaufoix said...

Well you know, at least it looked like a trailer and not a great big trash can or something. And they had fun so that's what counts right? We did CHristmas pictures and it made me realise I have an aversion to glitter. I hate it. It gives me hives.

ancient one said...

Making memories is better than making crafts...LOL I'm sure evey one enjoyed the house!

Not Dorothy Parker said...

My youngest wanted one of the G-bread house kits, but I pointed out that most of them had serious foundation problems in the form of cracks. Also, the roofs looked leaky.

R said...

pretty dern funny.

Jaina said...

I'm sure they'll have great memories of the different crafts, whether or not the ornaments live on the tree year after year.

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