Keeping up with my maddening posting schedule of once a month, I'm making this a celebratory post...and inspiring you in the process.
I'm a dinosaur in blog years. 6 years of blogging including my one year of myspace blogging (aka armpit of the internet). Since myspace blogging doesn't quite grace my mind as proper blogging, I'll proudly admit to a 5 year old Blogger Birthday today.
Abandoning my status quo of silly entertainment for a few, I'll share with you the latest and greatest in BeeRepartee-ville. I've been all kinds of seriously lately and wonder if I decided to grow up when it comes to being realistic about my goals. And so I've discovered something.
Complacency.
How I hate that word.
The concept is a constant antagonist in my life...seeping, prying, invading. For me, complacency is lingering without direction or wisdom, not a peaceful state of being. In other words, mediocrity. I fight with this daily because to be mediocre when goals are to be had or while pursuing great accomplishments, I would just rather not try at all.
I could chalk up a lack of trying to my need for perfectionism or the latest socially digestible phrase such as OCD, however I only know one way to push off complacency: charge my way through the problem with all the mental prowess and physical strength I have at my disposal. Charging like a bull can be wholly exhausting.
Sometimes this fight is all consuming and leaves little for friends, family, my hobbies, and things I love to do. Sometimes I am overcome with bouts of melancholy and hopelessness that I will not succeed in my goals leaving me to cling to discipline to get me through. I do not categorize these bouts as clinical depression but simply knowing my own mood swings and knowing myself best. Its these darker times I see myself in the truest light, the simplest form, to allow myself an introverted view to challenge what I don't have the drive or will to accomplish.
Is this part of growing up? Is this what 'knowing yourself' is all about? Perhaps, it is. In any event, I feed my inner Drill Instructor to pull from myself the will and drive to accomplish great things.
In short? A disciplined self is a powerful self.
I've had to challenge myself this quarter in school. Disciplines are difficult for me as a constant. I get bored, tired, or my worst enemy...feeling status quo and beat myself up for not being the best. Half-assed is not a method to a comfortable end for me however, it is my tendency to go there when I'm feeling less than motivated.
I say all this because I know many also struggle with this. I'm not alone. I'm not an island aside from my obvious lack of palm trees and sand about me. Whether it's personal, psychological, physical, or spiritual, I think most everyone can agree that complacency is a nightmare to any kind of goal.
I challenge you to find an area of your life where you know you should or could use disciplines. I've picked this next semester to be a serious throw down for me. I will own each and every one of my classes. I've already picked up running for a personal discipline. And at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I am freaking proud of myself for sticking with it even when my bed covers are far more comfortable than my running shoes on a treadmill.
There is also something to be said for the glory of a well-filled ipod to make a 2 mile run a reality.
I hope to stick to this challenge to myself over this next bloggy year. In turn, I hope this post will bring about a positivity to your day, your week, or your life. It's my 5 year bloggy birthday present to you.
You are welcome.
~Bee will share her running music mix if you share yours
