25 May 2015

Store Testing Coffee and Other Marriage Builders


 
I found this picture online years ago. Where? I forget, but by golly she doesn't look like she is learning much from her punishment. If anything, she looks kinda happy about it.

Is this common for coffee-addicted husbands to punish their wives for 'not store-testing' coffee?

What would happen if she bought the wrong kind of mash potatoes? He gets to wear the heels. Thanksgiving gravy gone wrong means the Red Room of Pain. And don't even think about bringing home imitation butter. Gird your loins, you might just end up pregnant. With twins.

I can picture it now:

Marge makes coffee every morning with her perfectly coiffed hair and pearls. She smooths her apron over her freshly ironed dress and glances into the stainless steel reflection in the stove to check her makeup.

She would make sure her heels don't click too much on the clean and spotless, lemon-scented, tiled kitchen floor. She cooks his breakfast of two slices of toast, browned to perfection, and a two minute egg with a side of grapefruit juice, freshly squeezed of course.

And after she cleans up with her cute yellow rubber gloves, she drives to her local grocery and deliberately buys Yuban every single time.

That's what I thought. You go girl.

~Bee drinks decaf
Listening to: Black Coffee by Ella Fitzgerald

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

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