25 October 2007

Hair of The Blogger That Blogged You

I was at Temporary Insanity today. The blog and the mental state. I couldn't help it. The kids were home today (and will be tomorrow) for Parent/Teacher conferences which reminds me. I need to buy more duct tape. The blog however, had a good post today about hair but I'm getting a head of myself.

HAHA! Get it? A head. Do you get it? I don't get it.

This morning was Zus' conference. Zus is 7 and basically the boy devours books at school. He clocked in at 131 WPM with full, 3rd grade comprehension. He's in 2nd grade. They couldn't believe it so they did the test again. 148 WPM.

That's my boy.

This afternoon, I put away my carpooling lead foot stint and instead, I did some reading on my favorite blogs. (a head of myself, remember? hahaha! I kill myself) Kimberly's talking about hair.

I'm very conscious of hair. Clothes, not as much as I'd like, but hair? This I know. I've been asked about my hair avatar. Strangers stop me at the mall and ask about my hair. Yes, it's mine in the avatar. It's not naturally red but that's something only my hairdresser knows.

Here is my anal retentive point of view. If you look at the physical aspect of hair you might find it easier to have the Pantene look you are going for. But for the love of supercuts, people. Asymmetrical hair, like bobbed hair in the front and tapered to very short toward the back of the neck? Like Posh Spice. This looks terrible unless you have a great jaw line. I've noticed it's the new PTA mom haircut but one that will never grace this head. Joe Dirt had a more appealing mullet.

If you have this haircut. I am sorry. I hope you can find the person who said this is a cute haircut and scissor-kick them in the head. (I'm on a roll now! Get it? Scissor kick?! hahaha!)

Here are some interesting facts about hair.

Hair under a magnifier has layer-like scales called cuticles which open with heat. You could also see under microscope that perfectly straight hair is round in circumference. Wavy is oblong and curly hair is flat. This is why curly hair has difficulty keeping in moisture with a lack of thickness.
If you take vitamins, this will help you to grow great hair (soda is VERY bad for leaching your vitamins from you) .

If you rinse your hair with hot water right before conditioning, it opens the cuticle to allow conditioner to go deeper into your hair. Rinse with cold to flatten the cuticle, sealing in conditioner and making the hair less frizzy. Same with the blow dryer. If you must dry it completely, do a once over with the cool air. Don't get me started on product. Just walk into Sally's Beauty Supply and buy what they recommend. I haven't gone wrong yet.

Grey hair turns that color because air gets into the hair shaft making it look grey. This is very cool. Why this happens? Beats me. What I do know is I don't have much experience with grey hair. Just one grey chin hair that will NOT go away.

You have now passed Hair 101. Please make a note of it.

38 comments:

sarahgrace said...

Those are some things I did not know about hair...pretty interesting actually. And yep, I'm one of those millions of women with the A-line cut, except it's more like Jenn@ J@meson's (Don't want people searching for that name ending up here...) than what's her face's. Hee hee. I like the cut though, even though every body I know has it. All the women in my family do, except Selah...not enough hair yet... ;-)

Jenn said...

thank you for the editing, my google searches are already out there weird. ;)

I used to have a longer a-line haircut, like Jenna's. I'm talking more of what looks like a half grown out Liza Minelli do....more extreme, like a guys cut in the back and long to the chin a bit longer in the front. So many women wear their hair like this and shouldn't.

I've seen your hair in pics. It's really cute. Besides, you have the chin to pull it off. :)

The Lazy Iguana said...

So I can slow down the grey by wrapping my head in plastic wrap?

Air is mostly nitrogen, so is that the gas that causes the color change or does oxygen play a role? What if I only expose my scalp to helium?

I may have to experiment here.

Laughing Boy said...

wow!!! great information emma......i read in a medical journal that people who are obsessed with hair are 32% more likely to change teams....

....the evidence continues to mount!

Crabby said...

ah, crap. Now I gotta look up posh spice and make sure I don't have her PTA Mom hair cut.
I learned most of this stuff that time I turned my hair pink and had to go in for emergency color and condition. Got a 3 hour lecture that day. It was worse than the pink hair.......almost. At least the pink hair made people laugh. An angry hair stylist is not very funny. Fact, they're a little scary.

dawn224 said...

chin hair. I have one too...

JLR said...

Ems, would you please come with me to my next hair cut? I cannot get stylists to stop cutting my top layer too short, and I think you could do a better job explaining it. You seem to speak their language. Also: "This is why curly hair has difficulty keeping in moisture with a lack of thickness." I am confused. Do you mean that curly hair isn't thick? Because mine is. Or maybe I just have a lot of it, and that makes it look thick.

Nurse Pickles said...

very interesting!

Anonymous said...

Hi, my name is Erica and I came across your blog today.

I work for Matchstick, a word of mouth marketing agency working on behalf of Dodge to launch the all-new Dodge Grand Caravan. We’re selecting 50 social and influential moms in the Washington area to receive a week-long test drive of the all-new 2008 Dodge Grand Caravan! All that we ask in return is your feedback about your experience.

If you’re interested, and would like additional information please visit our website at www.matchstick.ca/dodge.

Thanks and feel free to contact me at 1-800-530-8092 ext. 218 or erica@matchstick.ca if you have any questions!

Kimberly said...

I'm feeling famous-ish all of a sudden. And you babe? Are so punny! (ha ha ha!)

I am a hair ignoramous, and I'm just bursting with newly acquired knowledge now. Yay! I'm going to have a shower right this moment!

Jenn said...

kimberly,
You have to tell me how it turns out. I use this conditioner from Sally's that smells like cake batter...Yummmm.

thalia's child,
Do you like your hair? It looks like it would be long and flowy in your avatar. ;)

jlr,
under a microscope curly hair is flat in circumference. If it had bulk to it, like straight hair/round in circumference, it would have a place to store moisture. Make sense?

dawn224,
Those puppies are evil. I think they are kin to male pattern nose hair.

crabby,
wow, pink hair?

laughing boy,
Well, I've always preferred footy to lacrosse. What would those Dr.s know anyway?

the not-so lazy,
hehe, you crack me up...you could just walk around with a bathing cap on. Then you wouldn't have to worry about product.

The Lazy Iguana said...

Sweet deal! Free Dodge for a week.

Are you going to go for it?

One week is a good time frame. After the week is up the thing will probably break.

Jennifer said...

Gray hair. Ugh. I have lots of it, and must dye my hair eery 3-4 weeks or I start to look very old. I feel like the dude in the Santa Clause. Thank God I don't get fat that fast.

R said...

I am having major hair issues. I want to grow it out, but I have two different colors---my natural and then my unnatural.

You need to consult me on what I should do. I got it colored my natural color a handful of months ago, but then it just all (the color) came out in a month. All of it. What's the deal?

I need help.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Ooo I muss try the hot water before conditioner + cool rinse on my hair.
I have curls and they do get a bit frizzy sometimes.
Thanks Miss Em with the gorgeous locks.

Ba Doozer said...

oh hair monfraire....don't be afeared it's just a beard...hair...on your chin

ancient one said...

So I have air getting into my hair? And it is turning grey! It must be going down the air shaft straight to my brain. I'm becoming more of an "air head" every day!!

Love your posts!!

Ed (zoesdad) said...

Product you say?? I don't think there's enough goop in the world to tame my mane.

McBunni said...

Wow...thanks for the hair 101! :)

Lorelai said...

Funny that I found your blog and your entry was about hair. You see I work for a salon distributor so yup I know lots about hair. However, yikes...Sally Beauty Supply? If you really want some professional advice on hair product let me know.

Unfortunately some items from those supply companies are old product that have bacteria in them. There are articles you can google on that subject.

Regardless....I loved your blog and hope you don't mind if I link you.

Avery Gray said...

Dapo must have told you we were just talking about this. I have long hair (like close to waist length), and around this time of year, it dries out like nobody's business. On top of that, I've got major gray going on right in the front (thanks to Ethan. No, really. It all went gray when I was pregnant with him.) I've been wanting to go in and get it cut and colored, but I might try some of your tips first. Thanks, hair guru!

The Lazy Iguana said...

So are you going to sign up for the free Dodge for a week? You should.

A free vehicle is a free vehicle. Even if you only have it for a week.

Do not forget to take it off-road. Get it all muddy. And let Doozie test drive it. Sweet.

Jenn said...

lazy,
I'm tempted. The thing is I will love it and not want to return it. Perhaps I'd return my Crapstar and see if they notice. Maybe they won't. And maybe they are delusional and are just giving those puppies away. (Doozie test drive it? Have you heard about my NY Cabbie-like driving?)

avery,
I didn't know your hair was so long. I have middle of my back long hair, too. Now to keep it from clogging the drain, now that would be amazing.

lorelai,
welcome! and does Sally's really have bacteria build up in their products? Personally, I like to use a Fels Naptha bar or Irish Spring in a pinch and just scrub the mother out of my hair. It leaves it so clean.

mcbunni,
how long is your hair now?

zoe's dad,
Just go Kojack. Mr. Coffee shaves his head. He says more places to kiss.

ancient one,
isn't that wild? I bet wikipedia has the whole deal on grey hair.

doozer,
You need to bleach your whole head in clorox and then let it grow out 2 inches for the desired whiskey tango look. Quit doing that nicely maintained, sleek hair look. It's so 2007 of you.

jenn,
hahaha, I'd rather have white grey hair than the yellowy gray hair I know I'm gonna be stuck with.

r,
if you go a color darker in permanent color, it'll stick. Lighter colors don't work so well. Last coloring I colored it to my natural color. Doesn't look horrid now that I'm growing it out long. I like you hair!!

Jenn said...

jo,
let me know how it turns out. I also take Fish Oil caps to get my omega 3s in my diet. I see that it helps a LOT with my hair (and skin).

Not Lazy Iguana, Lazy Iguana knows nothing about this type of activity said...

Get the Dodge. I can arrange to have it "stolen". Then you can have it shipped to Canada where it gets a new title. Then just drive it back to the USA, take the Canadian title to the tag agency, register it as a new vehicle, pay the tax, get a new USA title - and blammo! New legal car.

This is called "title washing".

R said...

Thanks, Ems.

I do need help. I will see about getting my hair colored just a shade darker; maybe going two shades darker was too much for it when I got it done.

krok78 said...

Emma,

You do have great hair. Yes your boobs are kinda saggin and the butt is a bit on the big side but after 4-kids what can you expect.

I have great hair too but i also have a great body. it's easier for a man to look great.

Please don't misinterpret my suggestive comments. I had a dream last night that I was putting products in your hair and all of a sudden you started to spank me.

Have a great weekend.

Jenn said...

krok,
I dream Mr. Coffee has Clive Owens head. Your backhanded compliments always leave me so warm and fuzzy inside. I'm glad you are still blogging. My comments just wouldn't be the same. Hey, how is that herniated belly button?

r,
reds never wash out or tone down like darker colors. I think your eyes would look so good with dark hair. I'm going to call you on Monday after I drop off kids. Is that okay? What does Dear Sir think of darker?

not lazy even though lazy is brilliant,
I should just arrange to have my van stolen, leave it running down by the airport. The problem is no one would take it, and then I'd be accused of some sort of anti-patriotic espionage by airport officials. I'd end up in handcuffs and dying while I was in a holding cell. I just can't win.

Herr Krokodil said...

Emma,

I am very impressed with your blog. You've done a great job with it.

Naval is still herniated. Thanks for asking.

I wanted to remind you that your job is to take care of the kids and your husband. You should be rubbing your husbands back every other night. You also need to make sure you are making good meals for him.

I wish you could see my hair right now. it really looks hot.

Is your husband bald or does he just choose to look like the 101st Airborne.

Stalker Cyberstalker said...

I have seen that weird hair style on some moms lately, too. It's really unflattering.

Ba Doozer said...

after a bad hairday, I usually get back on that pony and ride....

R said...

Dear Sir LOVES darker. Any ideas would be great!!!

And---call me anytime.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Having once owned a hair salon, I'll tell you something else: Hair is one of the strongest substances on earth. The reason hairdressers are supposed to wear closed-toe shoes is that if hair can get into a foot, it can penetrate it easily like a needle and cause infections, or even travel in the blood stream and puncture the heart. Any hairdresser who doesn't wear closed-toe shoes is asking for foot infections and potentially life-threatening troubles, believe it or not!

And for gray, there's a great product at Sally's called 'gray busters'. Ask for it at the counter.

Jenn said...

saur,
I've actually gotten my toe pierced twice by Mr. Coffee's hair (he buzzes his hair very short)..I didn't know it could get in your blood stream though..wow. I also didn't know you owned a salon! I've seen those little anti-grey pouches at Sally's. My friend just colored her hair using that product and said it worked like a charm. I like the little no-red packets when I want to go dark but not brassy. That stuff is the BEST!

Jenn said...

I had a haircut like that once, but I didn't ask for it. My friend was a little scissor-happy.

Dapoppins said...

This post had something to do with hair, but I can't remember what. The dumb are calling me.

Must...Must...Do....soemthing.

Dapoppins said...

hahaha. I crack my self up. Or esle I am on crack. I mean to say...the drums...you know that Wambawillawicha song with the drums on your side bar...yeah. That one. It is very hard to think to. I could dust to it. But I can't type to it...!

Millie said...

Hey, I just linked to this but never commented on it? How strange.

BTW, I just got a Posh Spice haircut. Hopefully my square and manly jawline can help pull it off. ;)

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