30 May 2014

I'm Considering Grandma's Percolator

Ever since pterodactylus were breakfasting on troglodytes and coffee bean bushes, coffee pot manufacturers designed spouts that invariably, faithfully, drippingly leak when coffee is poured.

Today mine did not. I think I broke the world.

The dilemma of Coffee Pot and newfangled Keurig reached new heights this week with a purchase of a second hand Keurig for $30 (score!). The reviews on Amazon, which I completely took as gospel truth, implied that these newish, single brew coffee makers are the cause of AIDS, tsunamis, and world hunger.

Translated: I had to buy one.

Rarely a day goes by without a cup of joe to start my day. I know, they all say it's bad for you to drink too much coffee. They also say it's good to "have a career" and "never shop on an empty stomach". What do they know? I went to school part-time for 5 years and have yet to embark on my career. I also had a $300 grocery bill last week, so there's that.

I contemplated buying a Keurig after using one at my optometrist's office. My eye doctor is very progressive regardless of continuing to offer eyeglass frames that went out of style back in 1976. Special order only because no one besides a death row inmate would wear them. Fashion aside, the receptionist told me how lovely her Keurig was and how much she saved by not throwing out leftover morning coffee every day.

Leftover coffee? I don't understand those words together.

Once I got the machine home, I realized that the K-cup coffee cartridges cost .50 a piece. Those little, disposable plastic containers are pre-filled with coffee and can get spendy. Further, if I wanted to save money and use my own coffee grounds instead of brewing gold dust, I needed to buy a reusable cartridge. Of course, back to Amazon I went to find they are about $10 and "break the needle gasket" or the sphincter valve causing a love for Neil Diamond songs on repeat and foster some overwhelming urges to donate to the endangered black-spotted yak fund at the grocery checkout. Amazon reviews don't lie.

I purchased a box of K-cups while shopping (hungry) at the grocery last week. I can see this is going over like a lead balloon which leads me back to my Mr Coffee drip coffee maker. The one with the spout that dribbles on the counter except when the planets are aligned and I break the world.

I just want an affordable cup of coffee that makes it in my mug. The pterodactylus' coffee bean bushes are looking like a viable option. (I bet he shopped at the Dino Grocery when he was hungry, too)

-Bee's best part of waking up is sleeping in
Listening to: Gravity by Trentemoller.