01 July 2020

Mid Life Awakenings

I had the itch to write today and thought, "Self. You should write today. What's the big gap in writing on your blog? Do you not love it anymore? Do you think you're too busy? Couldn't you shave your legs today?"

I talk to myself a lot.

Everyone says they are busy - a natural response and makes you feel this is a solid reason for not keeping in touch with your friends. It isn't, but it feels like a good excuse. It's not like we have time because we've all been quarantined in a giant pandem... oh, yeah. Nevermind.

What have I been doing? I've been going through my mid-life crisis. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've realized gravity is a dirty pirate hooker, I'm starting to forget stupid details, and I'm not getting any younger. How does this play out? Well, if I was a guy, I'd get hair plugs, my dream car, and probably take up with some vapid woman half my age.

I kid. I kid. My credit score isn't as good as it used to be. I can afford a fast car, not the dream one.

As a woman, and I say this because I am one, I've decided to take up new hobbies, New Things that I've never done or apparently, forgotten I've done.

Play pool like in my teens.

Staying up late at the casino. So far, I'm up $300. My sis and I are going tonight. I'll tell you how it goes.

Reading myriad books..okay, not a New Thing but still... mysteries have replaced historical fiction, fare of the day.

I tried pot (legal in my state). I didn't like it.Yuck.

I've decided I've enjoyed cooking but I hate dirty dishes.

I have a business, but it's not my entire life. Work to live, not live to work.

Family is everything.

My kids...oh, my youngest is now 17 and driving, schooling, and working. My oldest is 23, married to a cute Russian boy. I'm going to be a grandma in March. Her and hubs will make chubby, adorable babies. Holy balls *heart explodes*

My husband has decided after nearly 27 years, sex is a good way to make sure he doesn't get prostate cancer. How can I turn that down? Taking one for the team.

I relish an occasional evening mini cigar and finger of whiskey. Neat.

I love Bible apps on my phone and praying because the world needs all the help it can get right now. God loves me just the way I am but challenges me to do better. To love all. Not in spite of differences, but because of differences. Jesus died on the cross for everyone's sin but He would have done it for just me. If I was the only one in ever to sin. That's what love looks like. Mind blown.

I love talking to people about knitting yarn, genealogy, and stupid, blowhard, pontificating, duplicitous politics. There is so much to talk about lately.

I'm so freaking proud of my kids. They amaze me everyday.

I have what hubs has dubbed "an old lady garden" on my back patio. Foliage is green and bountiful. Flowers beautiful. I don't care if anyone thinks it's stupid. I love it. I'm on the hunt for a pink plastic flamingo because I want one. My hummingbirds love the feeder and red flowers. I'm growing basil and rosemary out my ass. My climbing clematis, dahlias, and rose bush are gorgeous.

I say "ass" now (even though I watch my language around my parents. As you do).

These are unabashedly, unashamedly, and unapologetically me. I decided in December to make a change. I've lost 45 lbs despite the C19. I need to lose more but that will happen when it's safe to visit a gym. Since I quit my last job, I'm down 70lbs. Go me.

All of this, I've been informed by the world, is my mid life crisis. I'd say it's more a mid life awakening. Do New Things that scare you, that thrill you, that bring peace, joy, fulfillment, and fill your emotional tanks. Do New Things that make the world better for other people. That's how you do it at 47.

This is me and all the New Things. (Sorry, Mom. I said "ass")

Bee is doing weird stuff now.
Listening to DGAF by Noah Slee, Shiloh Dynasty
(because the bass is sick)


11 September 2019

The Book and The Movie Kind

So you all have streaming movies, don't you?

Have you ever met someone who doesn't have Hulu or Netflix? Neither have I. If you did, you would probably wonder if they were some weirdo who eats with their fork handle in their fist and wears white after Labor Day. Why? Everyone has streaming of some kind. That everyone includes my sister, who tells me what to watch. Not because we have everything in common - music, not so much. DNA for sure - but we both like to watch the same stuff.

My bestie and I have loads in common - no DNA though - but we almost friend-divorced over Lars and the Real Girl. She watched it and swears I sucked precious Princess Bride-like years from her life. I loved the fact the community came together for the main character (Ryan Gosling) even though they all knew he was special and frankly, bat shit crazy.




One man's crazy is another man's happily every after. If happily every after is about a meaningful relationship with a sex doll named Bianca. No. Its not that kind of movie. Go see it. Its probably streaming somewhere.


 Speaking of everyone streaming, I do, like a 5ft 10" lemming but less cute, chubby, and furry and follow the crowd cliff jumping stuff...nevermind. I have all the big streaming services. Mr Bee and I have Netflix (and chill). Actually, it's more like Netflix and, "hurry up with the popcorn, cause if your butt isn't on the couch in 30 seconds, I'm starting this Ted Bundy documentary without you!!"

 I like Peaky Blinders. Outlander. Kitchen Nightmares. Hoarders and Storage Wars. Discovery of Witches and Cormoran Strike (insert big heart eyeballs) And my new latest Atwood novel adaptation, The Handmaid's Tale. I had to read the book before I started the show. It's my one big pet peeves to book adaptations. Or is it film adaptations? What do they call it when the book was written first? I can never remember but they are adaptations. I bet you'll notice how much people use these interchangeably now. It's very weird.

I'm a conservative but The Handmaid's Tale (book, and then show) mades me think and that's always a good thing. I'm an egalitarian. Isn't that a cool word? This means I'm a firm believer in everyone treated equally NOT extra special equally because they yell the loudest on social media. As one with deep faith, I found Atwood's parallels to modern day politics both disturbing and far-fetched. Slavery, immigration, abolitionists, human rights, reproductive issues, environmental realities, and mankind's resilience in juxtaposition with ability to be truly deplorable and inhumane in the name of the greater good.

In a nutshell, this story shows us that any issue, religion, race, gender, sex, drugs, drinking....are subjectively evil. The Handmaid's Tale (still the book and show kind) shows us that no matter what the issue at hand, however innocuous it maybe, can be manipulated by humans, grossly weaponizing any issue to further an ideology, usually with intent of dominance and subjugation, In other words, humans can be beautiful, kind, amazing humans. We as humans can also be...well, down right shitty.

Faith is a deeply personal choice. Environmental stewardship is a choice. The right to have a family or not. How we choose to worship. Alcohol, sex, drugs....none are inherently bad.

 Is our subjectivity, our free will also our downfall? Holy Synapses, Batman, I sound like I'm writing a term paper on Chomsky.



How about this: when we make certain choices, does the result make us shitty humans? Yes. Sometimes it does. Choices are tempered by our ethical and moral compass. Our personal responsibility to choose to follow or build the laws that govern us. Choosing to respect life in all its forms.

When we weaponize our choices, someone will lose and some will have power. Handmaid's Tale strikes the very heart of this for me. And while many could argue the evils of forced human reproduction or religion, the story speaks to me beyond proclaiming what is evil and what is good. Look at the bigger picture: If its not these "evils", its another innocuous reason. Race, Environment. Gender. Education. To exist be it fetus, old, handicapped, or riddled with cancer. These boil down to choice and owning the responsibility of choices. Weaponizing anything, I mean anything, is possible. This is what has had me riveted for 3 seasons.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. And guess who is on the waiting list at the library for Atwood's sequel (just the book kind) to Handmaid's Tale? Not me. I've got streaming. I'm waiting on Hulu (the movie kind).

Bee will weaponize her blog to make you read it
Listening to: I Have No Clue, Im Listening to Pandora's Tycho Station

10 July 2019

Adventures of a ReSeller: Where I Furnish Apartments for Free

Its hard to be nice when there are 10 million Facebook groups devoted to free stuff. 

I should try this next time I need a car.

(A month later it sold for $35.)




12 April 2019

Advdentures of a ReSeller: Lowball Edition

Your'e wearing glasses but I don't think you can read well.....

She walked and the next week I raised the price to $40. 

I had a buyer within 3 days. Who knew?