I started blogging in 2002 on Myspace.
Are you done laughing yet?
As hip as Myspace was, I had exactly zero readers and closed up shop after a year. There are only so many blinky graphics you can watch without feeling like you've been put through a seizure test.
In early 2003, I was at home. Mr Coffee and I were raising our young family and I needed a healthy outlet (read: without inebriation).
I didn't want to write about what I did all day. I wasn't scared to show the warts and all of being a Mom but I was more than a Mom. I got to rattle my brain a bit and wrote honest talk of my mental health, miserly spending, and all the things rolling around inside.
I craved honest talk. Readers didn't get me. I've never been the Pollyanna type and I wasn't going to change for others who wondered why the church going girl wasn't churchy enough. You know what? God is enough and I am fallible. If you are looking to me for spiritual guidance, I'll be the first to tell you, you have the wrong person.
Bee Repartee was born as a conglomerate of what was important to me, to work it all out. Didn't have all the answers. I joked about things that others tried to hide. Dieting, spotless houses, angelic kids, textbook husbands. This is the internet. Everyone put on their rose colored lenses.
I sought relate-able friends, real, honest, and as happy for my successes as I was for their real, honest moments. The people I met over this decade are those I've grow to know personally and consider dear friends.
Blogging turned me a bit inward; an action I hadn't consciously decided. I slowly discovered me.
After my youngest was born, I became a seeker: a catalyst of proliferated self-honesty. I nurtured my logical, introspective, introverted, and creative sides. I gave myself permission to never be ashamed by me. To do better. To be better for myself. It was the most liberating, and growth-filled time of my life.
Today, I am still a work in progress. I do what scares me. I am not afraid to fail. I am thankful. Inspired to give. Encouraged to find the best in others let alone, myself. Freedom to laugh at anything good or bad that comes down the pike. Permission to feel and feel deeply. Grace enough that I know faith guides me even on completely shitty days.
Lastly, the bad days never outweigh the good days.
You'll see this over the years of my blog. You may be surprised by an openness that says, "...Yeah? Me, too. Let's hang out for a while."
Welcome to my blog. You're nice. We should be friends.
Bee likes good repartee.
Listening to: Good Day by Angels and Airwaves