07 May 2015

Hey, Baby Wake Up And Hulk Smash A Chicken

Dear Interwebs, 

You may think you are so hipster and smart with your Throwback Thursday, Sweet Saturday, Follow Friday, and I don't know, Winnebago Wednesday, and Matricide Mondays but I'm on to you. 

You're probably tired of squinty baby and sibling photos and 80's fashion pictures on Throwback Thursday. I thought instead to share some memories. Which, if I was more hipster and smart, would have done this on Memory Monday.
Some of the best memories I have are in the past. 

Let me start again. 

Some of the best memories are ones that I have.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long story.

Once upon a time, when ages and waistlines were all in the 20's, My friend, Dana, aside from owning a killer green Volare with bald tires and a never-ending supply of Reese's peanut butter cups, had the cutest, little, studio apartment. 

Dana lived in this quaint, brick building located under the big blue Volvo sign in downtown Portland. If you've ever driven up Burnside, you know the sign I'm talking about. The building, I guesstimate was built in the 30's or 40's, evidenced by the carpet, feel of the building, the fallout shelter sign in the basement-gone-communal-laundry-room, and punctuated by the old-fashion elevator. The elevator's accordion-like gate hinged open manually, then the inside door opened manually as well. Once inside, you'd close the outer gate, the door, and you found yourself closed into this teeny tiny space. People in the 30's and 40's must not have taken up that much room. The elevator squeaked and groaned leaving passengers to imagine a sudden plummet to the basement with or without the button for the "non-existent" 13th floor. It never quite evoked confidence while ferrying passengers from floor to floor when it shuddered more than a mall-parking lot carnival ride.

Dana and I became experts at evading the young, unabashedly forward, Russian manager. He was always good fun, if not a bit handsy. He was harmless and regularly offered "his services" *wink wink*, singing while he roamed the halls in constant state of somewhere between inebriation and crapulously blottered. Its a wonder he kept his job for so long. Him and his "travel mug" of coffee.

One morning after Dana and I had a crazy night of Coffee People drive through, Oasis Pizza, movies, and people watching on "Trendy-Third" street, I remember being blasted awake with 120 decibels of ungodly noise coming from...a chicken. A rock n roll chicken.

"HEY, BABY, WAKE UP! COME AND DANCE WITH ME!"
 
I sat up completely disoriented. This was pre-caffeine, mind you. I was getting my bearings being somewhere other than my own room while suffering from too much late night caffeine and pizza. I said something like, "Who put this wall here?!" What I didn't know was that Dana, responding to the pot of coffee we drank with midnight movies, she pushed the bed in halfway to squeeze by on her way to the bathroom. My eyes finally focused and I realized when I sat up earlier, I was less than an inch from braining myself on the wall frame.

As good friends do, Dana just laughed at me. I begged her to make her chicken stop making THAT NOISE. Hands down it's loudest alarm clock I've ever heard. Although, I'm certain I didn't wet the bed. It was a weekend, not Wet The Bed Wednesday.



-Bee's best part of waking up is sleeping in
Listening to: Gravity by Trentemoller. - See more at: http://beerepartee.blogspot.com/#sthash.OnRaE1P5.dpuf
-Bee's best part of waking up is sleeping in
Listening to: Gravity by Trentemoller. - See more at: http://beerepartee.blogspot.com/#sthash.OnRaE1P5.dpuf
-Bee's best part of waking up is sleeping in
Listening to: Gravity by Trentemoller.












- See more at: http://beerepartee.blogspot.com/#sthash.OnRaE1P5.dpuf
-Bee's best part of waking up is sleeping in
Listening to: Gravity by Trentemoller.
















- See more at: http://beerepartee.blogspot.com/#sthash.OnRaE1P5.dpuf
-Bee's best part of waking up is sleeping in
Listening to: Gravity by Trentemoller.
















- See more at: http://beerepartee.blogspot.com/#sthash.OnRaE1P5.dpuf
-Bee says The Rock N Roll Chicken has approved this message.
Listening to: Istanbul (Not Constantinople) by They Might Be Giants

1 comment:

Mary Root said...

Hey, does that happene to be the Allendale Apts. on SW St. Clare? I lived there back in good ol' 1986! (o; Mary

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe