26 February 2009

Lots of Stuff Is A Good Band Name

A little bit of a lot of stuff to say...

My boys have taken to reading the book series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney. My boys are 8 and 10. They usually sneak a book from this series into bed with them so they can read it before 'lights out'. It cracks me up when all of a sudden I hear peals of laughter coming from their bedroom. It feels good to know how much they love to read even with a 10pm fit of boy giggles.


Two weeks till I'm done with my first quarter of school.

Don't be telling me you are tired of my school talk. Just think of it as a student-college marriage that's been in the works for a long, long time. Now that I am walking proud in the halls of academia, I am enjoying, reveling, and sucking up every morsel of intelligence the school has to offer. However, I'm hoping that this college union will leave me blissful and not wondering why I have four ugly bridesmaids dresses with equally revolting shoes to match. Okay, maybe that does not translate.

I've already signed up for next quarter. 15 credits. I'm feeling light-headed and I hope I don't regret this.

Not the Goldilocks kind. My daughter turns 6 today. Yay, Cake! Happy Birthday, Lo-lo!!

~Bee likes smarticles

15 February 2009

Boys Can Cook and Build Legos

Lazy day, tis Sunday.

My boys are happily building the lego Millenium Falcon at the dining table. They are so engrossed in legos and Mr Coffee has tubs (no joke) of legos to keep them happy. All of our dining tables come with a lego-building 8 and 10 year old, if only to contend with the boys' older sister who is in need of puzzle making space.

I am in constant awe of my boys and their apparent on-board sound cards that were installed since birth. They make noises I could only replicate with a sound mixer and a Howard Stern Fart Machine.

How do boys do this?

Girls are not this way at all. Girls are never engrained with this type of "sound" DNA. Their DNA is used up on loving all things Princess-ey, sorting Polly Pocket shoes, and swaddling anything that is baby-sized. I even caught my 5 year old wrapping a blanket around a can of v8, "Oh, baby..you want a bottle?" I did not teach her this skill. I'm telling you, mothering instinct is engrained and imprinted in her female DNA.

Don't get me started on how I'm nurturing these ingrained instincts and genderless is best. How about allowing children to pick even if it is considered part of a traditional gender role? Letting them pick and choose their interests goes both ways. Girls can like legos and cars as much as they like baking. I'm not raising them to be different (like everyone else is different=same). I'm raising them to pursue their interests. Enough said, I'm getting ranty.

Sundays around our house = family time. As for me, I can sleep in on Sunday mornings and additionally, Mr Coffee makes me breakfast in bed (a BOY who COOKS). He's sweet like that. I could go on about Mr Coffee's sweetness, but my blog would get very long and you would require a root canal or some insulin.

School is going well and Mr Coffee is picking up the slack...or should I say picking up the vacuum in my absence. I just wish I had more time to write on my blog.

I've had (several) acquaintances that have expressed my schooling is unnecessary when I could be making better use of my time. Then I dare them to come closer so I can rip off their arms and beat them with the bloody stumps.

Really....I'm not offended. It is important for me to pursue my dreams and goals to uncover my full purpose in life. Isn't that what we all want? Purpose may or may not come with a big salary in the end, but who cares? I don't. In other words, if I am called to be a radiologist, EMT, or bookseller, I will not stoop to be President or the next Mother Theresa. Purpose trumps the almighty dollar and/or fame everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. 

I'm off to hanging out with the kids and watch some Smallville with Mr Coffee. It's a nice reprieve from text books and construction demo. Over and out...

PS. I will be doing my 4th annual Mullet contest this month!! More to info coming this week....

06 February 2009

Speaking Manure

As a self proclaimed 'greenie', I do my best to live as the hipsters say, "consciously". Not the garden variety of staying awake after a booze bender type of conscious. It's drooling over front-load washers variety of greenie, wannabe hybrid-driving, growing my own organic basil and rosemary, and buying tree bark toilet paper. I feel pride breaking down cardboard, sorting my glass, and squashing my aluminum cans. I even recycle paint thinner and leftover iodine from my back porch meth lab.

Just kidding. I only make meth on the front porch.

I know you can feel nothing but admiration and awe, but don't nominate me for Greenie of the Year just yet. I still prefer plastic at the grocery because I'm too cheap to buy small garbage bags. Think about all those scented garbage liners I'm saving from a landfill. Baby diapers and bricks of fruitcake will have to live in eternity by themselves. BUT, the good news is that greenies across the globe can chalk up another item to be green about: Conversation. Organic Conversation.

It was the word "organic" that tickled my ears. I was tuning in to the radio the other day, between rocking out and talk radio boredom, my ears perked up when a DJ started whining about regulations. She complained of the injustice of daytime television censuring. She also mentioned her pasty-white tan which shows you the level of genius I endured.

Off topic, can you really have a pasty-white tan? Do they have florescent lighting beds to zap you of all color? Cubicle lighting is known to zap natural glow. Like bleaching skin with way less chemical burns.

Back to our brilliant shock jock, further commenting on how regulations should be changed to allow people to "speak organically". Have you heard of this phrase before? "Speaking organically"

Like manure?

Who wants to hear verbal diarrhea on TV and radio? I could just as easily get my fill on my 5 year old's school bus without passing additional laws to hear someone say 'shit' on the radio. But let's work with the moronic idea of speaking organically.

If ever there was a socially acceptable time to speak organically, couldn't we also deem the practice as "verbally lazy" or simply showing little "communicative respect"?

The bright side is organic speakers could use sex references to finally open up dialog with their otherwise clandestine teen. Green speak would organically license of using God's name in a common way while justifying religious intolerance. Anyone swear by Buddha? Mohammad? The Pope? Organic speech makes this possible.

You've probably heard the proclamation, "that's so g a y!' referencing something lame or stupid. Immediately, the complainer is labeled as homophobic. Although, the same person can take God's name and use it in a common and irreverent way. Aren't they both equally disrespectful? (spoiler: YES)

Swearing, as opposed to bad language, goes against my nature, my upbringing, and my idea of what it is to be an intelligent conversationalist. Besides, "organic speaking" immediately reminds me of spouting manure. You have to admit, there is nothing as organic as manure.

The idea of TV and radio censure boils down to protecting young minds, respectful speech, and myriad beliefs. I hope we never lose sight of why, as a society, we censure radio and TV. I never want to embrace "speaking organically" because that's a load of crap.

~Bee will also continue to buy non-green, two-ply toilet paper.
Listening to: Mr Brightside by The Killers