13 October 2006

Dear John Roaster

To My Dearest Frou-Frou Expensive French Roast Coffee,

It was bound to happen. Those grocery store sales sneaking up on me. You really can't fault me for wanting to save some money without sacrificing taste, now can you? I am only one weak human, for the love of all that's good and decent! I can't always be perfect, sipping the same brew, day in and day out. It's been so good but I do believe I have to move on. The simple fact is...I cheated.

There it's out.

You have to understand! I didn't mean for this to happen. It just did. Rolling down the isle on three wheels and a lump of bearings, looking from sale tag to sale tag, minding my own business and there it was. A red plastic tub of Folgers on sale. Gourmet Supreme. AND the worst of it? Dark Blend with the official Aroma Lock Seal. How could I resist?

I know. I know. What you must think of me, now? Running off to cheaper coffee when the checkbook ran dry. What was I supposed to do!? I have needs, you know. Everyday, you tempt me, tease me with your aroma while deep in my heart I know I am just buying you. You fuel my day with every lingering sip. What can I say? Can I deny that it was amazingly good? NEVER!

I just feel so dirty.

My budget says I have to make some changes so I doubt I will be returning to your twelve dollars a pound. I cannot. I must not. Time will only tell, but more than likely this might just be the end of us. Don't hate me, though. Please, don't hate me.

Just remember the good times, spent with Newspaper. The times with Hubby, with Good Morning America, with Badoozer & the ever-running Dapoppins Coffee Talk. Even that phase with Preggo Belly, Cinnamon Creamer, & Decaf. I'll always remember how well we went with Good Book, French Press and long, long ago, with those teachers I like to call Hangover, Commode and Final Paper Procrastination.

And so, I take my leave. May your bean be robust, may your logo be "mermaidy" and your price someday, affordable so your groupies don't have to give up luxuries like toilet paper and food.

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