02 February 2006

That Guy


I was over at JLR's blog Impatient Chicken as of late. For some reason I am drawn to blogs of deadline driven, diploma bound students. Learning and books. Is there anything better?

I can relate, pounding out my own at-home college courses. It's never too late to go to school. I'm drawn to commiserating with others students who also have deadlines and consume enough coffee to bring about a world shortage.

JLR brought up in this post about That Guy in school. The one that stops class to comment, correct the teacher, or helpfully interject with nonsense, inadvertently bringing to light their blissful ignorance. All the while That Guy is trying to sound like the authority on the issue. He, or she, is in the same class as you are so why the superiority? You know who JLR is talking about...That Guy.

That Guy, I have found pops up everywhere. To irritate and annoy, that is his mission. Here are some prime examples of where I have seen or heard of That Guy just this week:

  • That Guy at the Food Court in Target stores who takes a handful of self-serve drink lids, handling them sufficiently with questionably clean hands only to then put back all but one? Hey, That Guy! Wanna lick my lid and sneeze in my drink?
  • That Guy at the gas pump who pulls up facing the hood of your car. The front. of your car. Like he is making a line. It's okay, I usually drive around in reverse.
  • That Guy that evacuates everything south of his esophagus, wipes with the entire roll and doesn't flush at a public restroom . I'd clap and give you a sucker, but Im not done gagging yet.
  • That Guy who passes gas in an elevator. Uncool. Never dutch oven an elevator. I dont want to smell the gasses that have been hugging your poo.
  • That Guy who takes your order for a small fry and then asks, "Do you want fries with that?" No, thank you. I'll have fries instead.
  • That Guy who is in line for a violent R movie..with his two children, 5 and 7 years old. You dont hire a babysitter because the theater is cheaper? Because children love nightmares?
  • That Guy who, in this scenario, is ALWAYS A) male, B) a pubescent teenager, and C) the only checker to ring up your sanitary girl things. Look me in the eye. I double-dog dare you.

I shouldn't be so negative and should consider taking a different perspective on this. But from where I sit? The cup isn't half-full or half-empty, it just depends if That Guy touched the lid first.