20 December 2005

borrowing Nazi

To loan or not to loan? That is the question.

About 5 months ago I decided to spring for a carpet cleaner. My carpet was in dire need of cleaning as it has been bombarded with the usual traffic of a household of 6. Juice boxes, playdoh, leaky diapers, muddy boots, etc..you get the idea. It needed cleaning and would undoubtedly need to again but after a vomit episode I researched the web because that is what you do when you want to buy something that will drastically change your checkbook. $270 is a chunk of money in my estimation and I wanted to get my money's worth out of this investment.

So now, if I haven't lost you from complete and utter boredom, I purchased it. I love it. I use it. Now, other people want to use it too.

Here is a little tale, theoretically of course, because that way I will be completely absolved of any wrong-doing in the matter.

There was a person who owned a carpet/upholstery cleaner, lets call her 'Jemma' or 'Fueled by Toffee'

There was also a person who wanted to borrow a carpet/upholstery cleaner, let's call her 'Teighbor'.

Now Jemma gets a call say, 9:30 pm last night, "Hello?"

Teighbor: "Hi, it's Teighbor! How are you?"

Jemma: "Fine."

Teighbor: "Do you by chance have a carpet cleaner?"

Jemma, quite reluctant: "Yeeees?"

Teighbor: "Can I borrow it? I have to clean up some vomit out of the carpet."

Now this is the trouble. Teighbor and Jemma used to be great friends. Now Teighbor is busy with other things and other neighbors, not that Jemma is upset, she just knows that everyone gets busy. There are times that Jemma wonders if she has hacked someone off, but Jemma could assume, be totally wrong, paranoid or just need therapy which appears to be the problem. The relationship has fallen to the wayside, why? Who knows. Maybe you would relate to this better if you lived in Salem with Bo and Hope or if you were in Jr. High or possibly lived on Wisteria Lane. Jemma doesn't care what people think because she doesn't get her self-worth from other people. Anyway, I will refrain from boring you further with the "Teighbor Chronicles".

Back to the dilemma....

Jemma, thinking quickly about the request, "It's full of vinegar and water".

At that time it was, I PROMISE, but she also didn't want to loan it out. It had just been used to get a mold spot off the sunroom floor..a room she doesn't always use. (PS. High traffic carpet rocks!!)

Jemma: "My sister in law is going to borrow it this week."

Why Jemma said that? I don't know. It didn't make sense but it was the truth.

Teighbor: "It's just one vomit spot, not all of the carpet"

Jemma thinks to herself: Great. Vomit and mold in one day. This machine will reek by weekend if I don't clean it out with Q-tips! I'm sure she won't want mold spores in her carpet. I can't lie to her but I'm not going to lend it out to get broken...again.

Jemma: "To be honest, I just make it a policy not to loan things out. My sister in law swore to replace or repair anything that gets broken or damaged because she knows how weird I am. It's not worth stressing a friendship over making someone replace something they damaged."

Teighbor speaks hurriedly: "Okay, its okay. I understand. It's okay. I have to go and get this out of my carpet. Bye."

Jemma felt bad but did not want to loan out the cleaner. Every time Jemma lends things out she stresses until it comes back....and usually broken:

1) Bent bicycle tire and torn open seat

2) Expensive camcorder now won't load tapes

3) 'I don't remember you lending me a DVD?'

4) 'I'm sorry about the truck' (that family member offered to pay for damages)

The list goes on, so Jemma doesn't loan things to anyone now unless she has no problem with possibly never seeing it again.

Is this a selfishness problem? No.

Is this a forgiveness problem? No.

Does Jemma have at least four good reasons for not trusting people? See above.

Does Jemma prefer not to stress a relationship over making someone replace materialistic objects? Absolutely yes.

Does Jemma borrow other peoples things. Not anymore.

Post Posting: Jemma ended up loaning this cleaner out to someone who promised to fix it and pay for it if it was damaged and it did come back broken because it was "ALREADY that way". Now I, ehmmm Jemma, has a broken attachment and no one to repair it. SEE?????????????????

What do you think? Do you avoid lending things if you can, but do it anyway or flat out not lend?

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