30 January 2007

Free Facials and A Car Wash

Today is so pretty. Blue sky, sunshine, and so darn cold. I couldn't scrape my windshield free of the morning millimeter of ice, so I did what any person would do if they were going to be late. I got a pitcher of *cold* water (hot water could crack it) and dumped it on the windshield.

I am so retarded.

I hate, despise and loathe the side of me that can't see things coming.

To my credit I hadn't had my coffee yet, so for that alone I should get some slack. See, wiper blades prevent more ice build up when they are at breakneck speed. I couldn't allow it to freeze back up.

I had those babies on full blast.

Not only did it work but the water, upon sudden contact with the windshield, also hit the wiper blades that were in full blown wipeage. It hit me so fast I didn't react before I quickly became the recipient of another 300 mph, frozen cold facial.

I cannot be this dumb.

I got them to school on time, but tomorrow, I shall do as everyone else does: Scrape a hole the size of your fist in the front windshield, peer out said hole like you are a submarine on patrol, and use horn often.

~Bee will not check your oil levels

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe