23 November 2007

Musical Christmas

I love this time of year. It's my turn to shine, to fling about the decorations like a Griswald, singing along to Christmas songs older than me, watching movies even older, and baking like a Nigella Lawson special.

Speaking of favorites, I've changed my music temporarily for the season. I don't know about you but I simply can't get enough Mele Kilikimaka. Here are a few songs that I would heartily recommend avoiding.

If you must put on Christmas music, please for the love of everything pine-scented grab something other than this:

*Barney the Dinosaur Gone Vegan Christmas

*Liza and David's Christmas Reunion

*iPod Christmas: Pirate and Rip It

*Crazy Campfire Christmas: Nuts Roasting Near An Open Fire

*The Kranks Christmas Soundtrack

*Doozie Goes To Mexico: Peliz Stabalot

*Hilary's Got A Laugh To Keep Us Warm

*Kabbalah's Rudolph The Red Bracelet Reindeer

*Avery's Dance of The Squirrel Killing Fairy

*All I Want For Christmas Is A Green Borat Speedo

*Mr. Bean's Silent Night

*Christmas at The Green Cathedral: What A Wonderful Mailbox It Would Be

*Snoop Dog's Pimpin' In Santa's Sleigh

*B & E Christmas: The Man With The Bag

*Mos Def's Fat Booty Santa

*I'm Dreaming of A White Comb Over by The Donald Trump Choir

*Hot Rod Caroling

*Larry King Raps The Christmas Story

*Lazy Iguana Sings: I'll Have A Beer Christmas Without You

*Jerry Springer Christmas: My Christmas Tree Don't Fork

*Ding! Fries Are Done Soundtrack

*Fireman Choir Sings: Put Out That Yule Log I'm Coming Down!

*Walmart Exclusive: I Got My Front Tooth For Christmas

*Bee Sings: Man, Santa's Hot with the smash hit: Oh, Holy Cow..It's Mr. Coffee

*Starbucks Hear Music: Santa Can't Get The Coffee Cup Ornaments

*Elves Reunion Special: I'll Have a Chinese Lead Poisoned Christmas

*Second Life Christmas: I Saw Mommy Kissing Everyone

*Politically Correct Christmas Vol 1 & 2:
The 12 Days Of Holiday Season with bonus track~
Away In A Barn Turned Hospital Birthing Suite

~Bee says just say no


The Lazy Iguana said...

That thing said my Christmas is most like the Grinch cartoon. Go figure. I just can't get into the Christmas spirit, but it usually catches up to me at some point.

Not all true. I do like all the holiday parties. All the other crap is not really for me. The shopping frenzy is insane, but I do like buying gifts.

This year there will not be a whole lot of money for stuff buying. The R#@$#@$#@$$#@ getting another job process is dragging along way too slow.

Knot said...

My Christmas is most like Christmas Vacation and The Festivus Episode of Seinfeld.


Jeff said...

Great list Em. Did you know Walmart had front teeth on sale during Black Friday yesterday?

R said...

Are you referring to the mailbox the neighbors have still NOT FIXED?!

I was checking them out at home depot yesterday (mailboxes) and thought seriously about just buying a nice expensive kit thing and putting it up myself. I would leave the receipt in their mailbox, of course, saying, "oops! I accidentally fixed it myself!"

holly said...

why oh why did i click the ding fries are done link? i think i could have lived a hundred more years without knowing that. oh man, can i please lobotomize the part of my brain that stored that?

McBunni said...

So we have your permission to listen to Manheim Steamroller and Trans-Siberian Orchestra?


Charlyn said...

I like Christmas too. But I could do without all of the commercialism.

I love how it brings families together, or praising Jesus on Christmas Eve - in awe of God's plan; I love when you get that perfect gift for someone, and it touches their heart; I love the smiles of kid's faces, and the excitment in their eyes.

I hate going broke; I hate the lines; I hate the pressure, I hate the distraction from the real meaning; I hate being busy every weekend the entire month of December.

It's a fine line, don't you think?

Merry Christmas Emms.

Kimberly said...

I was in desperate need of a laugh tonight. Thank you. Seriously.

Herr Krokodil said...


This is just mad-crazy, I always sing Mele Kalikimaka at the office party dressed in my Santa Suit.

Happy late Thanksgiving.

Avery Gray said...

I'm a Charlie Brown kinda girl, too!

I'm going to be singing Ding! Fries are Done for the rest of the day now, thanks to you!

I'm so glad you enjoy my beautiful Squirrel Killing aria. I was inspired. What can I say?

Let's get together and make something festive, mmmkay?

That Janie Girl said...

Great list! Thanks for sharing!

QZ~ said...

Love the walmart one...haha

did I see something about stabbing in there?

jd said...


This was a crack up!

Laughing Boy said...

every year i bitch to wife about buying presents for kids/adults that we see maybe twice a year (one of which is x-mas).
....every year she still does it though!.

Millie said...

My sibs and I drew names this year. There are five of us, so this was some considerable pressure gone. (sigh of relief)

I love the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. And Muppet Christmas Carol. And Elf. ....

Tee/Tracy said...

Heh heh. I like that last one best.

I'm sick of Christmas music already. I've heard all the popular songs at least twice already. I'm DONE.

eyes_only4him said...

omg, why would larry king rap the chirstmas story? he is jewish..haha

I so want that borat spedo, we could get matching ones emma..yes..no..?

Laughing Boy said...

oh yeah, my movie was the 'brady bunch christmas'. must have missed that at the cinema's (don't know how). i take it that it must be a gem of a flick if it is suited to me......has ANYONE seen it???

... Paige said...

I love Christmas music, I have even been caught listening to it in the summer.
This year the spirit seems to be hanging just ourside my grasp. I see it, smell it, hear it and hope for it-but alas I just can't seem to get my lasso around it. Maybe when I bake the cookies and can taste it...

Crabby said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....you just gave me an idea. Don't tell anybody it was you and maybe they won't chase you down. LOL!

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe