No person has been harmed in the idles of my disappearance, although I've been told I will be beaten profusely with a large, dirty shovel if I don't get over here and tell you all what opprobrious deeds in which I have been faithfully engaging.
Genealogy. Laundry. Books. More Books. Library. Getting pedicure. Paying Bills. Composting in the back of my van. Killing houseplants. Watching Mongol. Staying out of sibling drama. Couch shopping. Parent Teacher Meetings. Make yummy tacos. 6 bags of stuff to Goodwill. Sewing. Making Vintage Aprons. Reorganize linen closet. Run 10 miles this last week total. Lie about running. Jog 10 miles. Lie about jogging. Walk 10 miles like a big, fat baby. Be honest about the walking 10 miles like a big fat baby part. Burn music for kids. Watch Chicka Chicka Boom Boom with Kindergartner. Make brownies. Mop kitchen. Decorate fireplace mantle with fall stuff. Make killer manicotti. Make trip(s) to Starbucks. Go to vintage bookstore. See City of Ember with daughter. Finish reading Wives and Daughters (third time). Buy books at Goodwill. Loads of email. Rearrange furniture.
Boy am I tired.
It took some doing to yank the rain barrel out and shave off a chunk of lye cake, but after some serious elbow grease I'm done with the laundry. Isn't that exciting? Maybe not to you, but this is good news to my boys who went commando once last week from lack of unders.
Mother of the Year.
While I'm accepting that award, I might as well get Manners of the Year. Pope-rah was on last week and I saw her show on our country's rudeness. Starting with people who call her Pope-rah, like she is the mouth-piece of God.
I don't think so.
As for manners? I'd say parents and care-givers need to step up and teach kids manners. Simple things like please and thank you and then onto bigger things like taking up your own dishes and not farting (loudly) in public.
I found Pope-rah's quiz fairly telling. Here are my responses and feel free to comment yours.
♦Are you chronically late?
No. We have a saying at our house. Knowing Mr Coffee, it's probably from some Roman or Greek General, or Yoda.."When you are early, you are on time. When you are on time, you are late. When you are late, you are dead."
♦Have you ever typed an e-mail while talking on the phone?
Yes. I only do this when I am on the phone with the person I'm sending it to. And does Spider Solitaire count?
♦Have you ever interrupted a face-to-face conversation to take a non-urgent cell phone call?
Yes. I usually ask if it's okay to take the call.
♦Have you gone through a supermarket 10-item express lane with more than 10 items?
Yes. I usually shop early in the morning and all they have open is the express lane. So, purposefully? No.
♦While among friends or co-workers, have you yawned without covering your mouth?
NO. I think this is so gross. Who wants to see all those fillings?! Cover your pie hole. The world thanks you.
♦Have you ever texted or talked on a cell phone in a movie theater?
No and never will unless there is an earthquake while watching a movie and I'm buried in the rubble with my cell phone, only to saw off my arm with a spork to free myself from certain butter-topping death.
♦Have you let your dog relieve himself on your neighbor's lawn?
No and this is easy because I do not have any pets. My kids however...let's not talk about that.
♦Have you ever cut in front of someone in line?
No but I've had people cut in front of me, God rest their souls.
♦Have you ever stolen someone's parking spot?
No. I park way out for the exercise and to keep people from dinging the heck out of my doors.
♦Have you ever let your child kick the back of the seat in front of him and not apologized to the person sitting there?
No but when a parent is asking their child to apologize to you or yours, please do not say, "It's okay..." because if it was okay, then the child would not be prompted to apologize. "I forgive you" is a far better option.
♦Do you RSVP?
Yes, in fact, I try to do it the day I receive the invite. This is a huge pet peeve of mine, as anyone who has planned a party can attest. I try to leave off the invitation something like the date or location of the party so as to get people to RSVP.
♦Do you gossip?
No but we Christians call this a "prayer chain". Seriously, though...I never share anything I wouldn't want attributed to me and repeated on a loudspeaker. I only have three people I really share all with, and one is Mr Coffee.
♦Have you ever taken someone else's food or drink from the office refrigerator? No. I would further bludgeon the person who takes the last of the coffee and leaves the empty pot on the hot burner plate and doesn't make more. This person should be force fed a pot of day old grounds.
A few last pet peeves of mine? Not washing hands after using the bathroom. Being a Know-It-All (I hate that in myself). Eating with your mouth open. Car door dings. Not saying thank you when someone holds your door open. Parking like a beached whale. Not taking responsibility for one's own actions. Bringing your sick kids around me and other kids when you know your kids are sick.
Those are a few. So am I rude? I guess only if I am bludgeoning you with an empty coffee pot. That might be considered rude.
~Bee uses a napkin and points her pinkie when she drinks her coffee
