13 August 2008

You Want Some See Food?

It's grocery time.

No, no, nooo! You don't get to leave yet. You will enjoy this particular trip through the grocery story because there is no long division, coupons, or shrieking children. You may also forego telling the checker to "help yourself" as you slap your wallet on the counter.

On a side note, Mr Coffee and I think there is a market for a wallet that makes a toilet flushing sound every time you open it. Last week, I could have used the Airport Industrial Flush when I purchased school supplies. It's also like that when I go grocery shopping so I attempt to cheer myself up while I shop. Sometimes, the trip itself cheers me up.

For instance, a young woman above who I managed to capture with my cell phone a few months back. She is wearing her boxers to the store. In all their glorious butterflied yellowness, I noticed the tell-tale butt stitching with the button fly in the front. I hope the day never comes when I've lost the will to get fully dressed for the day. Does she feel no shame?

Then we have the usual kids' shenanigans.

Nothing says, "I'm bored!" like a nice pair of bug glasses.

I saw a picture on a friend's facebook and saw the same item in my store. It made me laugh, so I had to share it with you. Nothing could trump One Whole Chicken In A Can until now. I'd think that Cracker Meal goes best with Honkey Toast.

Once you've had Cracker Meal, you can move up to Cracker Trax. Forget the abusive pimp or costly dealer, you can buy these in a bag now. And the upside is you can keep your reputation, your health, your relationships, your sanity...the possibilities are endless.

I could have SWORN on first glance these ice cream bars said, "DOUBLE CHIN" across the box.

Nothing makes a trip complete without a trip to the wine isle. The wine isle is always a happy place for me. Aside from the obvious, my Uncle actually worked for Korbel most his life. Hearing my Uncle speak made me feel like I still had my Grandpa. I miss them both and Korbel makes me remember all the good things about them.

ARG! Matey! And really is there anyone who gets enough Pirate Booty? hee heee, I said Booty. Fire on the POOP DECK!

I told you it would be painless grocery shopping.

~Bee wonders who else grocery shops at night when kids are in bed?


Heffalump said...

The grocery store is where I get my ME time. I go in the evenings when D is home to be with the kids.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

OK. I see carpet on the floor in the first picture and I'm thinking you grocery shop in one of those super centers (Target/Wal-Mart/Meijer). All I can say is that you are very brave. I drive by one of those places and money just falls out of my wallet.

Anonymous said...

Oooh, oooh, I shop at night when kids are in bed! Friday night...9:30 or 10ish is my favorite time. Stores are quiet. No lines. Devoid of all life. Because everyone else is out having a life...except me. I'll have to bring my camera next time. I'm sure I could have tons of fun.

Anonymous said...

My grocery store trips are my big night out. Yep, tons of fun. Seriously, I enjoyed taking this trip with you. You have a good eye for the fun stuff.

Millie said...

I'm not touchin' that Pirate Booty. Who knows where THAT thing's been.

Cracker meal and honky toast - the breakfast of white trash champions.

Skerrib said...

Was the girl in junior high school? When I was in junior high, boxers were totally the style. In the (Phoenix) winter, the really cool girls wore long johns under their boxers. My dad wouldn't let me do that. He made me wear real clothes. Of all the nerve.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps I should schedule a photo trip to our local Wal-Mart....you are always full of inspiration ;)

Anonymous said...

My wife and I always split the duty - one of stays home and locks the kids in their sleep cage while the other goes shopping.

I don't get to go shopping that much any more because I come home with too much expensive Scotch and video games.

And not to be disagreeable, but I would like to applaud the young lady who went to the store in a partial state of undress.

McBunni said...

I love the grocery store posts!

Anonymous said...

That was hilarious. I needed the laugh this morning.

You know it's a man's world when a woman can get away with wearing boxer shorts in public, but a man would be considered a streaker (or a bit daft) for doing so. No shoes, no shorts, no service, right?

I laughed obnoxiously loud here at the office because I also saw "Double Chin" when I first glanced at that picture.

R said...

I have a half eaten bag of cheetos trax. When I tried them they were my SIL's and she hated them and passed them off on me. I kind of liked them, but I can not get over the fact that when I ate one originally I found a hair in my mouth paired with it and I can not get the image out of my mind.

Lynellen said...

I remember when girls used to wear boxers as outerwear shorts. But its a good thing that guys haven't invented a fad of wearing girl's thongs as outwear!

Doozie said...

Ok, I love you, I love everyone, and I love pirates booty

Mrs4444 said...

I LOL'd through this post; thanks for the chuckle. And yes; I'm certain that if they can make greeting cards to make noise, they could certainly do it with a wallet. Now, get out there and buy the patent!

Mrs4444 said...

I LOL'd through this post; thanks for the chuckles. And yes; I'm certain that if they can make greeting cards to make noise, they could certainly do it with a wallet. Now, get out there and buy the patent!

Jo Beaufoix said...

So you made me choke on a peanut, but I forgive you okay? I am on another catch up night as I'm missing my blog buds and I come here and you nearly kill me. No really, it's forgotten.

Seriously babe, you made me laugh so hard my bottom fell on the floor and bounced around a bit by itself. The 'Aged' white cheddar in the Pirate Booty worries me a bit though. I mean, how do you age cheese? Take away it's face cream? Worry it? Give it a really bad haircut??


... Paige said...

I enjoy these e-shopping trips you take me on.

I thought of you last night when we were at the liquor store. I knew I should have taken that picture. I will be sure to make a special trip back just for you and snap that photo next time.

Anne said...

It appears you were having way TOOOOO much fun at the grocery. :)

Gen said...

"Double Chin" Ha! Ha!

JenLive! said...

I lurve shopping at night without the kids.

I can't believe you took that photo of the boxer clad girl! I'm picturing you digging your phone out of your purse and trying to be subtle as you take the shot. Too funny.

Dapoppins said...

My Jr. Year in Highschool someone came up with the idea to sell boxers with the schools name on the but.

We didn't make much money.

I, however, had three pairs.

cathouse teri said...

You are just the silliest goose!

I was catching up on posts here. I read the one about the trip to the burger joint. I would definitely have asked for the manager after her very first snide remark. And I'd ask to be allowed to watch her spank her bare ass! Woo hoo!

We recently had a DHL guy show up at our office and try to get us to switch from FedEx as our main carrier to them. It's cheaper... hell, why not? So thought our Finance Director. Well two delayed packages in one week makes Teri a very unhappy camper! So I call the guy. He proceeds to give me excuses about how they tried to deliver them but no one was there. I said, "Nay nay, but the place was open. And they say no one came." He continued to argue with me. HA! I don't think so! I was already pissed off about how much less convenient the drop boxes were.

So my boss (previously mentioned Finance Director) asked if I was going to use DHL to ship some overnight stuff to our California office. I said, "I will not be using DHL again until he bends over backwards and sucks my dick!"

Anonymous said...

Now I have to get Pirate's booty thanks! Love that stuff!

Jaina said...

Well, I don't have kids, but sometimes night is the only time I can get to the grocery store.

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