21 August 2008

Super Short Stories (Extended Edition)

I get a mental block sometimes on what I should write about. This week, I have a whole slough of stories so just pretend you are reading something like the Reader's Digest short stories but with more intrigue, more violence, and far more grammatical errors.

A few days ago, I was startled late at night by the unmistakably pungent smell of pot emanating into my apartment.

What? I don't do drugs, never have, but growing up in a legal medical marijuana state? I know how it smells. I do like the smell of a pipe, even clove ciggies, but I don't smoke.

I suspected I had accidentally left the burner on or something. I opened the front door and no one was there, but the smell....ugh. The smell was much stronger in the stairwell. I went from yuck to ticked off in a matter of seconds.

The smell had wafted up and permeated my obviously aesthetic weatherstripping on my front door. It could have come from the upstairs neighbors but I found rolling papers at the bottom of the stairs the next morning. If I smell it again, I'm going to resist the urge to eat an entire bag of Doritos and then I will yank out my fire extinguisher, hose them down until it's empty, and then beat them with the red tank.  I'll be able to plead insanity since I would technically be under the influence of second hand pot smoke.

Last weekend, my son found this video, and a few others, from Lego.com. I think we watched it about 20 times. "An Average Death Star Day". I found it on youtube, of course.

I've been losing weight since last year. I'd stopped losing for a while but now I'm losing again, blah blah blah ~glaze over~ so, that is how you change a tire.

Last, I had my kids at the Health Department and I think I caught a bug or something. Is it normal to feel like you've been run over by a mack truck? It's not a cold, but achy and headachy. Mr Coffee is coming home tomorrow for the weekend so I'll be getting reinforcements. I've really missed him, too.

Next post, I'll share with you the fun I had at the Health Department trying to get my kids immunized. Oh, and those round condom-shaped things in green wrappers on the front counters? NOT caramel green apple suckers. Please tell me, how would a child know this?

~Bee has a fire extinguisher next to the front door.


Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Oh my. A hosing is the least they deserve. Like there aren't better places to be stupid.

Congrats on the weight loss! I'm in the process too so my eyes totally did not glaze over.

Anonymous said...

My sister in law works at the health department here .... it's much like dealing with the financial aid department...am I right???

I just made a handout for my Psy class titled 'Behavioral Dieting'. It sounds as though you are doing a great job with changing 'diet' to 'habit'. Good for you!!!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hee hee, the little pot smoking monkeys, I wouldn't want them near my kids either, hose 'em down young lady.

And yay on the weightloss, go you.

Ad boo on the feeling rough, hope Mr Coffee gives you lots of cuddles and looks after you.

And erm, the green things, what were they? They can't be the thing I have in my head, that would be very wrong.

Anonymous said...

I love the feeding the homeless endeavor! Great way to feel good about the time on your hands!

There is an award for you on my blog. I hope you don't mind.

Anonymous said...

Yay on the weight loss!! I wish my weight didn't bounce around so much. It obviously means you are doing something right. That's awesome!

I think that's a great idea to do the volunteering. Such a satisfying way to spend time, knowing you are helping people.

R said...

The kids loved the Lego thing. They can't wait to watch more when I let them.

Cool on weight. ~Glaze over that.~

It is rockin to hear about your day to day.

I think it is great you are volunteering.

I am so sorry you feel bad. That is NOT normal.

Rest, ok?

holly said...

i am so so confused. what is in the green wrappers? it's not candy is it?

ah the sweet relaxing smell of illegal activity.

hope it goes quickly.

Doozie said...

Oh come ON, weed isn't that bad....it could be worse, it could be beer.

As for youtube, I can't believe an upstanding parent such as yourself allows your children to access that site. That site should be added to The Axis of Evil

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

You were so sweet and introduced yourself a while back but I never responded because:

1. I was on vacation.
2. Then I was dying. Damn Plague.
3. I was mesmerized by your hair.

It's nice to meet you too. ;)

queen foodie said...

Congrats on the weight loss!! I, too, would have to resist the urge to chow down...but it would've been on a Domino's pizza :)

Suzy-Q said...

There is less of me too!

I am happy to hear you are paying it forward! I bet you will be getting the bigger blessing for doing it too. :o)

Gwynne said...

The sad thing about the pot smoke around all the kids in the neighborhood is that it IS kids who are smoking it. Gah!!

I'm very impressed that with all your "free time" <*/sarcasm> you are still able (and willing!) to carve out time to help feed those less fortunate...you are awesome...go you, indeed! :-)

And congrats on the weight loss. I need to join you on that track but can't seem to get motivated. :-(

The Domesticator said...

Congrats on the weight loss! I hope you are NOT coming down with something you contracted at the Health Dept *yuck*

Dapoppins said...

Why don't you volunteer to bring me coffee?

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe