14 June 2006

closed chapters

I rarely post about my extended family just because I want my blog to be cheery.

Wheee. Cheery!

It's easy to Pollyanna through the posts and as far as my blog peeps know, it's all roses here. Well, I do have a good life and it's taken some resolve to realize that my siblings and parents are absent because they want to be.

I have always been outspoken about what other's should do with their lives, or liberal with the advice. It's only been in the last several months that I have discovered that

1) I should always be asked prior to giving advice and

2) I can state my mind but other people won't always do what I recommend and

3) they don't have to follow it and that is OKAY. In fact, the best thing I've heard about advice is that you don't have to take it.

I've stepped over the line recently giving my unwanted opinion without grace and had to apologize to my sisters. I've learned when I take responsibility for what they do, I'm just sticking my neck out to be hacked off. I can't and won't take responsibility for anyone but me and my kids. I apologized. again and again. I gave it time, but you can't make someone forgive you or converse with you. I have too much stress to emotionally carry my siblings who coincidentally resent it anyway.

I am the oldest. Can you tell?

In the past, I was stupid enough to respond when family comes to me, wanting advice, to complain about whatever or sucking me into their decisions. I attribute my poor judgment to a sheltered upbringing and lack of good social skills and communication. It's been a lesson in what *not to do* when family asks for your opinion. I relate it to me releasing a fire-breathing dragon and then wondering why I am being burned alive. Duh.

I have a strong sense of family but certainly cannot make someone do what they don't want to do.

I will not set myself up for failure to be burned down by the proverbial dragon. No more. I'm done with that chapter in my life. Now? Mr. Coffee and my kids are my most important. I focus on them. I need to, want to, and have to.

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe