African Wilderness

Photo by: Gary M. Stolz

I am astounded at the lack of knowledge in my readers when it comes to childhood backyard games. I was sure everyone knew how to play African Wilderness. At least everyone with their childhood summer spent outdoors. So, I will enlighten you in what is involved in the game but you will need to pull out your IMAGINATION.

African Wilderness involves bellying down in knee high grass and peeking through the dried straw at any prey that may pass. It is most effective when the grass is at it's longest length, knee high perhaps, possibly even rivaling the neighboring field that is preparing for hay baling.

This prey could look startlingly like a sibling, maybe a parent's ankle or an unassuming neighborhood feline that would happen across the property. The payoff is the excitement of pouncing with quiet, lion-like stealth through the grass upon said prey for the meriment of all. Unless of course, you are a neighborhood feline and should lose 1 of the proverbial 9 lives in the shock of being startled completely out of your wits.

Now, the length of lawn is due to a particularly funny story.

Mr. Coffee and I had been engaging in an ongoing verbal debate over who had mowed the grass most often. I had regularly mowed the front and back yard and somehow Mr. Coffee was under the misapprehension that he had carried out the brunt of the mowing this year and years previous. Not that he had escaped all of the mowing chores, just not accomplished the lion's share (no pun intended).

This debate finally resulted in my feeble concession and Mr. Coffee subsequently taking off with the mower. Most likely to run victory laps around the yard calling it work. Upon his triumph that involved a little booty shaking dance and his proclamation that I was indeed moded, he managed to encounter a small 4 inch stump just above the ground that turned the mower blade into something that looked most like a rotini pasta noodle.

For some reason, he had not remembered the problematic stump had been in much need of grinding, for the last 4 years. I relished in my sweet taste of victory, ending our debate with me, sporting a pious grin while I quietly stated,

"Oh, honey, lookout. I always go around the tree stump in the yard."

Translation: "Do you want your crow with or without your rotini?"