15 July 2008

Gimme A Smooch

I've been doing some blog maintenance. This is not the reason I have gone missing today. You see, today my carpets were subjected to a well-overdue cleaning. I mean well-overdue as in Dash The Carpet With a Bowl of Spaghetti Oh's and Not Notice The Stain type of overdue.

And WHO is the coffee drinker that left a big spot on the floor?! Oh, wait...never mind.

I wonder if my carpet cleaner guy thought it odd that I offered to kiss him after he cleaned my carpets. He managed to get out the coffee spot, the gum spot(s), AND a red juice blob on the floor. Red juice = The Devil's Coffee.

I bet he gets kissed a lot. No, not the Devil. The carpet cleaner guy.

Being semi-kicked out of my apartment wasn't bad, just that I am a big wienie and needed to find another source of A/C. I need snowballs flying out of our A/C to be happy, so I did my errands in the van, went shopping, and then ventured out to the pool with the kids. It's a hard life getting tan while my carpets were drying. Such a hard miserable life turning into one large freckle of a tan.

I know you are wondering, "What is the REAL reason you have abandoned us online, you freckled ~strike~ freckle, coffee-drinking, snowball-loving, smoochie-faced heathen?!"

It's nothing exciting, except I've been moving a few posts over from a closed blog. I've been blogging on Blogger since November 2004, and I have a number of posts that are still worthy of readingI also found a few that would bring on sheer boredom and the sudden urge to ram a steel spike through your eyeball. Rest assured, I will not be moving those posts.

Glancing over the old blog last night, I found this story about a dim bulb moment, Coffee Makes Me Horny. Go read and laugh at my stupidity. I know you want to.

I shall leave you until next time, with words from my 8 year old Zus, pouring forth wisdom to his little sister: "Don't kiss me on the lips! You don't want to have any babies!"

Hey, as long as they don't look like the carpet cleaner guy.

~Bee kisses Mr Coffee a lot.  


Anonymous said...


Can he come to my house too?

Dapoppins said...

You only have one freckle? really? Just the one?

Dapoppins said...

What did Mr. Coffee say about the kissing being offered?

Are you getting him back for our DATE? He is such a great date, he even offered to pay me for gas.

Foo said...

Boy, am I ever out of the loop. I had no idea They were working on a way to transfer content from one blog to another. That's something I've wondered about, on those occasions when I got to thinking about putting together a new template and hosting a Wordpress blog on my own domain. I just assumed it wasn't possible, since Blogger used to always respond to questions about backing up with something like this: “Change your template to put all the posts on one page, view source, and save the whole mess to a file. Sorry, no refunds.”

'Course, if I started a blog on my domain – which name I use for the rare freelance work – it would probably be more tech-oriented, and the current blog's contents wouldn't go with the new carpet anyway.

See what I did there? I worked in a veiled reference to your carpet-cleaning adventures.

Doozie said...

There is no gum chewing allowed in our apartment, neither do we allow red juice, or any juice for that matter, in FACT, we allow no drinks at all. And we allow zero food. We have a zero tolerance here at this apartment for people even moving from one spot and or breathing

Bee said...

The word on the 'street' is also in order to be a good parent no hamburger is allowed either. You must not feed the boy.

Blogger in draft has some great new features. I've experienced problems about composing in Blogger In Draft and publishing in basic Blogger. You lose all your formating and you end up with one giant paragraph. To be expected, I guess. I'd love to do a .com although I'm clueless about the process despite my ease around a template design. For now, I'll stay put. I've done enough moving to make me nuts to even contemplate another move. Moving a blog is the equivalent of blog suicide.

Mr Coffee wanted to kiss him too. Hey, you need to raise your standards...a date to pick up a friend going to jail is not appropriate. Now if Mr Coffee had offered you chocolate, that would have been more appropriate. Oh, and "Matt" told me not to wait so long next time ~snort~

Jaina said...

Glad to hear you have been having a good time. Glad to see you back.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

I used to have stains in my carpet. I found it was easier to pull it all out than to clean it.

That Janie Girl said...

Glad your carpet came clean. Love the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep story!

R said...

Darn! I haven't been to the pool in well over a week. The Girl is just too sick.

Glad you could get stuff done and get tan too!

Anonymous said...

I'd have kissed the carpet cleaner guy too. Yay for clean carpets! :-)

Blank said...

I just figured you were out honking at yourself.

Still laughing....

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

I guess being deprived of you for a day is worth you having clean carpets.


Unless I decide I'm feeling particularly selfish, of course.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Smooches coming right at you lovely. Now I have to go read that post. :D

holly said...

is that how i got these babies?

Anonymous said...


If you weren't bigger than me I'd kick your butt for not giving me an award.

I tell you those Mexicans are really good at putting down carpet. Nows the time to get cheap labor before they become citizens.

Gen said...

LOL! And I thought babies came from making out in a swimsuit.

Suzy-Q said...

Since I am related to my carpet cleaner I think I'll just give him a high five. :o)

Jamie Dawn said...

Having clean carpets feels almost as good as having a clean car. My hubby just cleaned our car this afternoon, and it is shiny and sparkly inside and out.
He deserves a smoooch!

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