14 December 2005

make me laugh

A friend emailed this to me. I thought it was pretty funny...

1. AT LUNCH, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIRDRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.

2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM. DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.

3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT FRIES WITH THAT

4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR ! DESK AND LABEL IT "IN"

5. WHEN TRYING ON CLOTHES IN A DRESSING ROOM, YELL OUT "THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE"

6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS"

7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY"

8. DONT USE PUNCTUATION

9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.

10. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THRU ORDER IS "TO GO"

11. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA

12. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME

13. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA AND PLAY TROPICAL SOUNDS ALL DAY.

14. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON I WON!"

15. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES THEY'RE LOOSE!"

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe