12 November 2007


I am amazed at the incredible positive response to my last post on How I *Pretend* To Do It All. I prefer to laugh and poke fun at what I accomplish on a day to day basis. This provides an illimitable source of blog material, of which I relish at every click of my Publish button.

And no, this does not mean I hate women that CAN do it. Woman. She's the Proverbs 31 lady. I'm more like the Proverbs 32 lady: no one has written about me yet.

I am incapable of holding myself in the same housekeeping / parenting / bread-winning standard of other women. I could....however, my bed covers would bring more joy than living life defined by my housework.

Been there, done that.

The sad thing is women do have this opprobrious, inner dialog that rears it's ugly head far too often. Women should fine tune what works best for their families. Judge McJudgington, cool it toward other women who go about their daily grind in a different manner.

I could not fathom homeschooling my children but am in awe over friends who educate their children at home. I am always doing laundry and don't mind the folding. Others do not share my penchant for such things. To each her own.

I appreciate a friend's comment, that women need to be honest with our abilities. This is SO true. I do not see my lack of ability as struggles. This implies blame and wrong doing. June Cleaver, the model mother, is not obtainable but being as happy as June? That I can do.

What uniqueness ultimately means is simply casting off another's measure or ruler you are using as your own model of womanly, wifely or motherly success.

Find your own benchmark without looking down on others with a white glove scowl. Find your own without beating yourself up. Erma Bombeck said it best:

"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you?"

Leave behind those ridiculously unattainable benchmarks set by others. Find your own pace. Find your own benchmark. I promise I will still like you, even with your pearls, cleaner floors, and all.

~Bee loves to do housework in a dress


Anonymous said...

Ha I am first.

Anonymous said...

I had to do that in great haste.

Yes, I agree with you. I have found that in life, one can not do *everything*. One of Dear Sir's friends came over on Saturday and saw a drawing of an icon by yours truly on the wall. He was very complimentary and asked if I draw anymore, and if I do, I should, etc, etc. I told him with a shrug, "I only have room for so much. Guitar playing, singing, home school, soap making, the other stuff just sort of falls off the cliff."
"Tell me about it!" he said.

I just realized this morning that I have lived in my house probably, uh, eighteen months or so and I have mopped my wood floors probably under ten times. Maybe under twenty, but that is pushing it. I used to be so clean....

You, however, have a way with words, and write better than me and a lot of us. And you are sarcastic, witty, and tremendously fun. I would rather you do that than clean YOUR floors. It is just much better when you entertain me.

Anonymous said...

My socks stuck to my kitchen floor this morning. Thanks for making me feel better about the fact. =P

Anonymous said...

Uh, you'll have to look somewhere else if you want a friend with cleaner floors. :-) I love this post.

I remember once, in the middle of being more depressed than even I realized, I was watching Dr. Phil who had his wife on with her new book. I know she had written the book and was on the show to empower women, help them, but I just cried and cried because all I heard throughout the show was what a perfect mother Robin McGraw was. I thought for sure my kids were doomed because they had pitiful old me instead of HER as their mom.

Of course, depression has a way of warping one's perspective. Now I think my kids are pretty lucky to have me as their mom.

Anonymous said...

you lost me at: opprobrious

Anonymous said...

AMEN!! I'm not one of those women who compares herself to others simply because I would have put myself in an institution already. I'm fully aware of my lack in the area of keeping up with life in general. I love doing laundry, it just sometimes takes me a week to get it done and by then there's more to do. I love my house to be clean, but I'd rather be having coffee with friends or visiting my favorite blogs because what's more fulfilling, relationships or having enough cutlery for supper? These last two posts of yours were very validating for me. To know that there are others out there who are not as perfect as we think we need to be in the domestic goddess sort of way and are still awesome in and of themselves...that made me smile : ) You make me smile daily. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

yay! it's finally okay that i suck at stuff!

Anonymous said...

Like you, I am perfect in every way!

Anonymous said...

you mean I should embrace getting the kid to sleep just long enough to discover that we can get horizontal before the mobile stops playing "talk to the animals" and forget about the ironing?

Anonymous said...

I'm totally perfect and I home school the kids. However I just make them do the laundry and dishes. The damn kitchen floor is still not clean, though, and our feet are all dirty. Oh well.

I'm so with you on this post, it's not even funny. It's all about doing what is within your means, for your family, at your pace.

Anonymous said...

I try to be something different every year.

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe