30 November 2009

My NonComplacent Blog Is 5

Keeping up with my maddening posting schedule of once a month, I'm making this a celebratory post...and inspiring you in the process.

I'm a dinosaur in blog years. 6 years of blogging Go me! Since myspace blogging doesn't quite grace my mind as proper blogging, I'll proudly admit to a 5 year old Blogger Birthday today.

Abandoning my status quo of silly entertainment for a few, I'll share with you the latest and greatest in BeeRepartee-ville. I've been all kinds of seriously lately and wonder if I decided to grow up when it comes to being realistic about my goals. And so I've discovered something.


How I hate that word.

The concept is a constant antagonist in my life...seeping, prying, invading. For me, complacency is lingering without direction or wisdom, not a peaceful state of being. In other words, mediocrity. I fight with this daily because to be mediocre when goals are to be had or while pursuing great accomplishments, I would just rather not try at all.

I could chalk up a lack of trying to my need for perfectionism or the latest socially digestible phrase such as OCD, however I only know one way to push off complacency: charge my way through the problem with all the mental prowess and physical strength I have at my disposal. Charging like a bull is exhausting.

Sometimes this fight is all consuming and leaves little for friends, family, my hobbies, and things I love to do. Sometimes I am overcome with bouts of melancholy and hopelessness that I will not succeed in my goals leaving me to cling to discipline to get me through. I do not categorize these bouts as clinical depression but simply knowing my own mood swings and knowing myself best. Its these darker times I see myself in the truest light, the simplest form, to allow myself to be introspective enough to challenge what I don't have the drive or will to accomplish.

Is this part of growing up? Is this what 'knowing yourself' is all about? Perhaps, it is. In any event, I feed my inner Drill Instructor to pull from myself the will and drive to accomplish great things.

In short? A disciplined self is a powerful self.

I've had to challenge myself this quarter in school. Disciplines are difficult for me as a constant. Motivation is difficult. I get bored, tired, or my worst enemy...feeling status quo and beat myself up for not being the best. Half-assed is not a method to a comfortable end for me however, it is my tendency to go there when I'm feeling less than motivated.

I say all this because I know many also struggle with this. I'm not alone. Whether it's personal, psychological, physical, or spiritual, I think most everyone can agree that complacency is a nightmare to any kind of goal.

I challenge you to find an area of your life where you know you should or could use disciplines. I've picked this next semester to be a serious throw down for me. I will own each and every one of my classes. I've already picked up running for a personal discipline. And at the risk of sounding narcissistic, I am freaking proud of myself for sticking with it even when there are sleeps to be had!

There is also something to be said for the glory of a well-filled ipod to make a 2 mile run a reality.

I hope to stick to this challenge to myself over this next bloggy year. In turn, I hope this post will bring about a positivity to your day, your week, or your life. It's my 5 year bloggy birthday present to you.

You are welcome.

~Bee will share her running music mix if you share yours


Jaina said...

Accepted. Mine is to get physical activity every day, whether it's the Shred dvd, walking or just even some ab work and free weights. I seriously need it.

Heffalump said...

Ah...I admit that I am sometimes complacent. Complacent is better than dead, no? Sometimes it is all I can muster.
Thanks for making me want to muster more though.

sarahgrace said...

Great post, Bee! I think it's awesome that you are aware of the complacency problem. So many people aren't, and that's really sad!

Dapoppins said...

ummm-humm. You said it girlfriend.

Dapoppins said...

This post has a Flesch-Kincaid Grade level of 7.5...I thought it might be highter but it is painfully obvious that your recent teen vampire reading level has brought you down!

(((duck and run)))

Dapoppins said...

Oh, Happy 5h!

Doozie said...

Nicely done. My thing is everything. Where do I start.

Mrs4444 said...

There will be no running in MY life; I'm far too complacent about my weight for that!

Here's hoping you've retained your drive the past month and will continue throughout the new year :)

Merrily Down the Stream said...

You had me at the first sentence.

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe