"That'll be $82.74, please"
My stomach dropped to my knees. Did I ask for the diamond-plated air filter? No.
I was having the oil changed, and this without Mr. Coffee asking me to get it done. I was proud of myself and just under the 4,500 mile mark. I was tempted to pop on into Sweet Ride Tires and have them put some 22's w/spinners on my 1996 Ford van but one thing at a time. This was monumental. I was having the oil changed on my own.
"Here," I said, attempting to be cheery. I handed him my debit card but I should have slapped my wallet on the counter and told him to help himself.
I started tallying the items in my head because you can't be too careful when letting a computer, a Swifty Lube computer, do the work.
Oil filter, air filter, oil change, 5W30 and coolant. $82.74?!
I noticed his Swifty Lube name tag spells out, 'BOB'.
Now BOB looked suspiciously like an escaped convict in blue overalls. His faded, tattooed teardrop in the corner of his eye did not make me change my mind. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but my benefit was immediately shot down by BOB's apparent brainchild that I should be his new girlfriend. He smiled, flashing his gold tooth in the front. He handed me back my card and receipt. BOB probably hadn't had a girlfriend since Nixon was in office. BOB probably hadn't showered since then either.
Gee, I wonder if he spells name backwards. B-O-B....B-O-B....I suppressed a giggle at my own brilliance. I could see BOB wondering if ate too many dry instant coffee powder packets. Or maybe it was because I was getting my oil changed without being reminded. And while I was evolving into a higher life form in the waiting room.
This place was named "Swifty Lube" wasn't it?
Then I got the look from BOB as he handed me the keys. You know. The look? Like Joey Tribbiani meets Alcatraz. I can almost hear it now.
"How you doin'? I'll change your oil lady, anytime of the week, except Tuesdays, I'm due in court for boostin' cars...."
BOB asked me if I want to fork over another $75 to have my serpentine belt replaced. The thing costs all of $40 retail and 10 minutes to get it off and on.
I hadn't downed enough powdered coffee packets to agree to that. I'm just as happy to do it on my own.
~Bee doesn't really do it, Mr Coffee does.
24 comments:
mr coffee should be proud of you for your initiative. my wife wouldn't know a car needed oil...(or water, or cleaning, or not to bump into things, or not brake/accelerate/brake/accelerate/
brake/accelerate etc)
$82.74 for an oil change?!?!
Good thing BOB works in the automotive fluids industry already so he doesn't have to bring extra lube when he does you up dirty.
Ian
good grief, I pay less at the dealer.
That was a rip off. I would have poured coffee on Bob's head. And said, "You pay for it. That is ridiculous!"
I think you were jipped. But mine are done for free..so, what do I know...
Holy poop. Exactly what you did NOT need.
Did you also slip BOB a hygiene manual? We should have one made up for these occasions.
Well, I always end up paying more than that, but that's just because I have a "GULLIBLE" stamp on my forehead.
Bob: "We recommend this...uh, system...uh, vacuum regeneration."
Me: "Oh, do I need it?"
Bob: "Yes. And you'll pay a lot more at the dealership. You don't want your system vacuum to go on you, do you?"
Me: "Good Heavens, no! Thank you, Mr. Bob Jiffylube."
Bob: "Sucker."
Me: What was that?"
Bob: "Uh, suction. Gonna help the suction."
And I walk off all proud of myself.
Holy poop. Exactly what you did NOT need.
Did you also slip BOB a hygiene manual? We should have one made up for these occasions.
ahh if i ever did this the man would be so.... shocked.. tee heee
be proud :)
You were paying for Bob's gold tooth display. For 20 bucks cheaper, you could've got the guy with the booger tangled in his moustache. Ask for him next time.
Hmmm..."serpentine" belt is code word for "snake"...
Always listen to your instincts, girl!
;-)
what about bob?
I pretty much change my own oil and use a K&N lifetime filter...cause that's how I roll..I hate my black fingernails
hey!! I didn't eat any corn!!!
I loathe paying for vehicle maintenaineccerntehensekfhe. I can't spell.
Oh yea, how did you do that tags drop down box thing?
$85 for an oil change? Crap I know that oil is $85 a barrel - did you buy an entire barrel of light sweet crude or something?
Oil changes here are like $40, and that is at the dealership. The dealership cost more than other places.
I was having the truck oil changes done at the dealer, but now that the coupon service book is empty I can change my own oil. It is not that hard.
I think Bob jacked up your price. That is too much to pay for a gallon of oil and a filter. Your coolant does not need to be changed every oil change - that stuff is good for at least 30,000 and more like 60,000 miles.
I also use a K&N air filter.
That's quite the expensive oil change there...
They always entice you with $30 oil change, but then your car always magically needs 4 different new filters and whatnot...
what the heck is a serpentine belt???
(i'm learning so much from you and that crackhead, doozie.)
My family uses the name Bob for some reason as an all purpose nickname. We ALWAYS joke, "My name is Bob. b-o-B...ooops, spelled it backwards." that really made me laugh when you wrote it. lol.
Yeouch!!! I can hear your wallet whimpering from here. :(
HEYHEY...I heard that laughing stock I mean boy.
just sumyounguy
Oh, you're supposed to do something different every 12,000 miles? I thought maybe they just charged a lot up yonder. I have heard that about the northwest part of the country. Or maybe I'm just thinking about gas prices? I don't know. Do not listen to me.
I think I need to read my owner's manual now.
And I'm glad you got mail! And I hope you can get the envelope open. Some people like to put a lot of tape on things.
Post a Comment
"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe