07 January 2008

There Is No Team in I

Holly has done it again.

Green Cathedral did it too.

One meme, double tagging. I guess I have to do this, even though I officially don't meme. Are you ready for this?

Have it be known, your birth month means more than you need to renew your driver's license. It means you are destined. hahaha. Okay, really. The stars don't determine my personality or destiny. That idea is bunk to me, but I have a theory. This is highly scientific here. No laughing.

How a pregnant mother feels would affect her baby, right? I am a September baby so it only make sense that when the flowers bloomed and the sun came out, my mom had the itch to clean and organize. How she felt would have affected me in the womb giving me happy clean house womb vibes. This is why I'm OCD.

Spring brings cleaning, organizing and picnics. Picnics mean sandwiches..protein.

Protein and organization = brain food.
Brain food = baby brain development.

I'm sure this is why I have a big head retain knowledge. Tuna sandwiches and spring fever are the reason I am who am I. I can't find this on Wikipedia but I'm sure the medical community would approve.

So Holly outlines the characteristics of me:


Suave and compromising.
First, I'm not Suave. I'm not even Pantene. I'm more Nexxus or Joico. As for compromising, I need people to like me. Brown-nosing is not beneath me. It's amazing how quickly a person's demeanor can change when you give them a genuine compliment.

"Wow. I LOVE your car! Is this a Gremlin? and for only $200 bucks!"

Careful, cautious and organized. Concerned and detailed. Systematic.
Proper preparation prevents piss poor performance. If I got lost in the woods while hiking on some mountain, I could never be the lady who died tragically, wandering for days in a freak snow storm. I would never live it down if I ended up lying 100 feet from the highway, clutching an empty Starbucks cup, dying of exposure after eating my own arm for nourishment.

I'm so prepared. In my van, I currently have an emergency ruck sack, a collapsible, 40-man heated tent, medical supplies for open heart surgery, and enough MREs and water to last us until 2020. (And I wonder why I only get 11 mpg??)

Likes to point out people's mistakes.
You are SO WRONG.

Likes to criticize. Must control oneself when criticizing.
I haven't sent her any letters, but face it people, Keira Knightley is begging for a Double Baconnator Cheeseburger to shoved down her neck.

Whatever. That's your opinion. Who wrote these anyway?

Quiet but able to talk well.
4 minutes with Random Grocery Store Stranger #425 gives me enough material to write 4 novels on her life.

Calm and cool.
I disagree. On the inside, I regularly feel I'm a poster child for Xanex. On the outside, I am the accomplished, level-headed mother of four, loving and doting wife to tall, dark and hot Mr. Coffee.

Kind and sympathetic.
If you are in the hospital, I will bake you a lasagna. If you need a ride across town, I will drive you even though I only have a ¼ tank of gas. If you need money, I'd sure as heck give you my last dollar if I knew you wouldn't use it to buy Olde English 800 beer. I do draw the line at sharing my last cup of coffee, even if you were dying of thirst. This is not a joke.

Loyal but not always honest.
Who says my Secret Agent adventures aren't true? Will scissor-kick heads for any of my peeps.

Does work well.
Work hard when you work. Play hard when you play.

Very confident.
Something I've never told publicly: I won a Hot Legs contest when I was 20-ish. At a bar. I was 20-ish. (see Loyal but not always Honest) I was pretty stupid, but hey, I had hot legs. Whatever. It was dumb.

I wear sterling silver or 14 kt gold earrings. I squeeze the Charmin. I also don't blog about controversial subjects like heterophobic nut jobs, why the liberal extremists spew as much hate as the right wing extremists, and since we are talking sensitive..why don't Tucks hemorrhoid pads come in a XX Large container.

Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable.
I remember so much stuff, usually useless knowledge. Someone asked me if I was a book, what book I would be? Hands down, "Encyclopedia".

Loves to look for information.
I read WebMD for fun. I have also been researching my genealogy since I was about 16. Thousands personally researched in my family tree (my earliest ancestor was born in 1606 AD). Also pursuing membership in the Daughter of the American Revolution - DAR and full genealogical certification.

Able to motivate oneself.
Mt. LaundryToBeFolded says otherwise.

"No worries" is one of my favorite sayings.

Fun to be around.
Doozie and Dapoppins have both seen me in a coat 3 sizes too small performing my signature Tommy Boy's "Fat Guy in a little coat". I will make a huge fool out of myself to make you laugh. No, I've never been incarcerated. Why do you ask?

We all know my name is really Bee Repartee.

Loves leisure and traveling.
Coffee shops. Live music. Museums. Spa days. Bookstores. Art Galleries. Road Trips. Beach retirement. Foodie. Mai Tais. Europe. Oooh, la la, but not that I am able to have or already accomplish them yet.

Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings.
I disagree with this one. I am so open and honest with my feelings at times, it surprises people. Then people think I must have a hidden meaning or that I'm lying.

"Yes, my kids really are sick for the third time in two months from your germ-riddled office and I'm going to have to reschedule. Again."

Very choosy, especially in relationships.
Friend wanted:
Emotionally intelligent.
Good sense of humor.
Forthright and honest.
Must have front teeth and generally good hygiene.
No BO that smells like teenage library funk.

Here are the instructions:

1. Mention the person who tagged you.
2. Sign them up for lots of SPAM and chain letters.
3. Make a blog post writing off any and all MEME related things.
4. Next person to tag you, make an exception because you rawk that way.
5. Tag 500 people and let them know if you are going down, they have to as well.

Tag, tag, bo, bag. Okay, I won't tag, but if you want to do this, please leave me a link in comments. Thankyouverymuch.


Anonymous said...

Welcome to the club, my friend! The Holly Done Me Wrong club. We're growing by the minute.

Loved your answers, though! So glad you played along, even if it is all bogus.

Anonymous said...

I'm on the verge of doing this one but...umm...it's long. And I have zero creativity in the bank right now. Seriously, I have to be careful not to start staring at the walls and drooling.

Loved your answers though...heck, just loved finally getting over here and absorbing some of the you-ness. You is brilliant!

Anonymous said...

I rather enjoyed that. Very nice. hot legs.

Anonymous said...

oh god my personal favorite was the 'you are so wrong.'
that was after i was already washing down the shampoo-related giggles.

avery : done you wrong. HA! you were fabulous! people loved it! IGNORING you would have been done-you-wrong. pththth.

kim's right, you is brilliant. not nearly as belligerent as that avery. she's a one.

Anonymous said...

I pretty much have no BO and I'm very loyal...in fact I'm so loyal? I'm willing to throw down with whomever is giving my "special girl" a hard time.


Anonymous said...

I would like to schedule a showing of Fat Guy in a Little Coat please. 2 Adults and 2 children. It is appropriat for children right??

You are so great Emma......

Anonymous said...

PS You have great hair....what kind of shampoo do you use?

Do you have the uncontrollable urge to do something nice for me now?

Anonymous said...

That's cool, your answers are awesome...and I have absolutely inspiration (or ambition) to do the meme...and I'm a Sept girl too.
I don't know what's that about, I just can't bring myself to do it.

I probably need psychotherapy or water therapy or booze therapy or retail therapy or something.

Anonymous said...

Looked like fun although I am not near as clever as you I gave it a shot.

Anonymous said...

That was fun to read! I left my boring one over in Rachel's comments.

This struck a chord with me:

"I disagree with this one. I am so open and honest with my feelings at times, it surprises people. Then people think I must have a hidden meaning or that I'm lying."

Reading your post today I was lamenting the fact that I don't have a personal blog anymore, and I was composing a post for a brand new blog in my head (while I was reading your post because I'm brilliant like that. Ha!) And what you said up above is exactly what happens to me at times. It makes me want to hold back and not be so open (which is why I stopped blogging, if I'm being honest. Every once in a while I get burned.) But a part of me is really missing sharing myself like that with people on a daily basis.

See? I need to blog again because I keep clogging up my friends' comments with long dissertations all about me me me.

Anonymous said...

I've gotta see that Tommy Boy thing. And the Hot Legs. ;)

Anonymous said...

Teenage Library Funk? Now that's nasty.

Anonymous said...

Wait - you're joining DAR? I'M joining DAR!!!! We'll be DAR geeks together! Whoooo hooooooooooo

Who's your patriot?

Anonymous said...

I can only sit and read so much at once. That's what I get for not visiting more often.

I promise, I will come back to read this post in it's entirety. Um, or however you spell that.

McBunni the Spelltard

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