20 October 2008

I'm Not A Rude Dude

No person has been harmed in the idles of my disappearance, although I've been told I will be beaten profusely with a large, dirty shovel if I don't get over here and tell you all what opprobrious deeds in which I have been faithfully engaging.

Genealogy. Laundry. Books. More Books. Library. Getting pedicure. Paying Bills. Composting in the back of my van. Killing houseplants. Watching Mongol. Staying out of sibling drama. Couch shopping. Parent Teacher Meetings. Make yummy tacos. 6 bags of stuff to Goodwill. Sewing. Making Vintage Aprons. Reorganize linen closet. Run 10 miles this last week total. Lie about running. Jog 10 miles. Lie about jogging. Walk 10 miles like a big, fat baby. Be honest about the walking 10 miles like a big fat baby part. Burn music for kids. Watch Chicka Chicka Boom Boom with Kindergartner. Make brownies. Mop kitchen. Decorate fireplace mantle with fall stuff. Make killer manicotti. Make trip(s) to Starbucks. Go to vintage bookstore. See City of Ember with daughter. Finish reading Wives and Daughters (third time). Buy books at Goodwill. Loads of email. Rearrange furniture.

Boy am I tired.

It took some doing to yank the rain barrel out and shave off a chunk of lye cake, but after some serious elbow grease I'm done with the laundry. Isn't that exciting? Maybe not to you, but this is good news to my boys who went commando once last week from lack of unders.

Mother of the Year.

While I'm accepting that award, I might as well get Manners of the Year. Pope-rah was on last week and I saw her show on our country's rudeness. Starting with people who call her Pope-rah, like she is the mouth-piece of God.

I don't think so.

As for manners? I'd say parents and care-givers need to step up and teach kids manners. Simple things like please and thank you and then onto bigger things like taking up your own dishes and not farting (loudly) in public.

I found Pope-rah's quiz fairly telling. Here are my responses and feel free to comment yours.

♦Are you chronically late?
No. We have a saying at our house. Knowing Mr Coffee, it's probably from some Roman or Greek General, or Yoda.."When you are early, you are on time. When you are on time, you are late. When you are late, you are dead."

♦Have you ever typed an e-mail while talking on the phone?
Yes. I only do this when I am on the phone with the person I'm sending it to. And does Spider Solitaire count?

♦Have you ever interrupted a face-to-face conversation to take a non-urgent cell phone call?
Yes. I usually ask if it's okay to take the call.

♦Have you gone through a supermarket 10-item express lane with more than 10 items?
Yes. I usually shop early in the morning and all they have open is the express lane. So, purposefully? No.

♦While among friends or co-workers, have you yawned without covering your mouth?
NO. I think this is so gross. Who wants to see all those fillings?! Cover your pie hole. The world thanks you.

♦Have you ever texted or talked on a cell phone in a movie theater?
No and never will unless there is an earthquake while watching a movie and I'm buried in the rubble with my cell phone, only to saw off my arm with a spork to free myself from certain butter-topping death.

♦Have you let your dog relieve himself on your neighbor's lawn?
No and this is easy because I do not have any pets. My kids however...let's not talk about that.

♦Have you ever cut in front of someone in line?
No but I've had people cut in front of me, God rest their souls.

♦Have you ever stolen someone's parking spot?
No. I park way out for the exercise and to keep people from dinging the heck out of my doors.

♦Have you ever let your child kick the back of the seat in front of him and not apologized to the person sitting there?
No but when a parent is asking their child to apologize to you or yours, please do not say, "It's okay..." because if it was okay, then the child would not be prompted to apologize. "I forgive you" is a far better option.

♦Do you RSVP?
Yes, in fact, I try to do it the day I receive the invite. This is a huge pet peeve of mine, as anyone who has planned a party can attest. I try to leave off the invitation something like the date or location of the party so as to get people to RSVP.

♦Do you gossip?
No but we Christians call this a "prayer chain". Seriously, though...I never share anything I wouldn't want attributed to me and repeated on a loudspeaker. I only have three people I really share all with, and one is Mr Coffee.

♦Have you ever taken someone else's food or drink from the office refrigerator? No. I would further bludgeon the person who takes the last of the coffee and leaves the empty pot on the hot burner plate and doesn't make more. This person should be force fed a pot of day old grounds.

A few last pet peeves of mine? Not washing hands after using the bathroom. Being a Know-It-All (I hate that in myself). Eating with your mouth open. Car door dings. Not saying thank you when someone holds your door open. Parking like a beached whale. Not taking responsibility for one's own actions. Bringing your sick kids around me and other kids when you know your kids are sick.

Those are a few. So am I rude? I guess only if I am bludgeoning you with an empty coffee pot. That might be considered rude.

~Bee uses a napkin and points her pinkie when she drinks her coffee


Jodi said...

Interested in this, "Making Vintage Aprons". Pictures please.

Jaina said...

Phew...just reading that list made me tired.
Seriously, the lack of manners today is atrocious! Somewhere in the technological boom people decided they didn't have to be polite.

Doozie said...

I can definetely vouch for the fact you are very polite! I am however not so much, although my child is so what happened there...hmmmmmm

poperah....she needs to die already

what lye..what? rain barrel..I'm pretty sure I know for a fact you offered up favors to mr coffee to have him do the laundry?

Doozie said...

IN FACT, would it please the court to present evidence, that he did SO much laundry he was not even able to accept said favors?

Doozie said...

Is it also true, mrs coffee that you devised this plan intentionally?

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

So while you've been laying around - snort - and watching Pope-rah, which I love by the way. The name.

Where was I?

Oh, I taped that show & was surprised how many people think lousy behavior is just fine.


(I used to be bad at RSVPing but I'm better now.)

(And some twerps were texting at the movies Sunday night until my friends kindly asked them to stop. But not until after he told her 'not to worry about it'. Is it rude that I wanted to thump him on the noggin?)

ancient one said...

So many trueisms in your post today... especially about lack of manners...sounds like you've really been busy!

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Busy busy...good for you!

And much giggling over your quiz answers. I think I must be one of the politest people ever. Of course, I'm Canadian so it's practically genetic.

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

You know what I hate? Unfriendly mergers! Either speed up or slow down but make a space ya jerk! Okay, I feel better. :-)

Heffalump said...

I might yawn in public if my hands are full...next time I will hold the baby up in front of my face to hide the yawn!
(I have no fillings though...so does that make it okay?)

... Paige said...

You busy little housewife. What are you trying on purpose to make the rest of us look bad?
yeah I bet.

I wanted to be rude but I guess I'm not, at least not according to the list of questions/statement. I can be blunt, but that doesn’t mean I’m not as sharp as a razor. Although I have thrown a paper towel on the floor of a public restroom when I used it to open the door and there is not a trashcan to toss it in. But I forgive myself as I know there are many, too many in fact, ladies (slugs) that don't wash their hands and I will not touch the door they have soiled with my freshly washed hand!

JLR said...

well, obviously I'm with you on the force feeding grounds to the person who fails to make more coffee.

And thanks for the heads up on the not saying "it's ok" when kids apologize thing. I never know what to say, I don't want to seem like an ogre so that kids are afraid to apologize, but I don't want to undermine the parents.

Jo Beaufoix said...

We are so similar hon. And the 'I forgive you' is a good idea. I always say it's ok. I hadn't even thought about that.

Anonymous said...

i have to say, i've never seen more rudeness than when i worked at a children's museum. it is scary and sad to see how much parents coddle their children now - if the kid were to scream for not wanting to leave, the parents would kneel down and say, "i understand how you're feeling, but it would really help mommy if we left now." which sounds great but if your child is running around the museum screaming, pulling displays over, and then finally throwing themselves on the floor sobbing, maybe it's time for a little authority and discipline. maybe?

Kirstin said...

Great quiz...found out I'm not rude (C:

I agree on teaching kids manners. Even answering the phone properly. In the last few weeks I've had a few people (strangers) comment on how polite my girls are when answering the phone and taking messages.

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe