31 October 2007

Pumpkin Surgery

We visited the pumpkin patch on Saturday and carved our pumpkins on Sunday. Max age 8, was eagerly poised with his carving tool in hand. He cuts around the top and while lifting off the lid you could see seeds and pumpkin guts. He says cheerily to his faceless pumpkin,

"Get ready for your lobotomy!"

So today I'm being lame and not doing the Halloween thing. I'm not going to launch into all the reasons why and debate the history of Halloween over how it got started...blah blah blah ~glaze over~. In turn, I won't ask you why you are celebrating an evil, pagan, devil's holiday, ya sinners!

Halloween isn't cat sacrifice and goat worship. It also is not piping choir music to my porch and handing out gospel tracts. I just don't like this time of year.

Halloween to me means enjoying the cool weather and pulling out my sweaters. It means, crockpot chili, homemade cornbread, time with the family....and more blogging time. It doesn't get any better than that.

Oh, and scoring on clearance candy tomorrow at Walmart.

Speaking of Walmart, I am compelled to write this open letter.

Dear Mr. I Have No Gas Man,

I can appreciate your plight in holding your cardboard sign. I read it every weekend I've passed you in the last 7 months,

"Need help. Ran out of gas. Thank you. God Bless"

The price of gas is outrageous, I agree. Your freshly showered face is telling me you have transportation, as is the fact that your car runs out of gas every weekend in the same Walmart parking lot. Dude, that is just the most amazing luck. You should buy a lottery ticket. I think the only alternative to your gas dilemma is that your neighbor is unemployed and siphoning your tank every Friday. Otherwise you might be lying, and why would you ever do THAT?

Bee (Not Stupid)


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I hope that wasn't anyone I know...

Anonymous said...

Okay, where is that heritage.com post? Did you do my picture? Did you do my picture with your Ellie? I don't have any good pics of me...can I use a pic from 1990? My computer wasn't speaking to me last night but I fixed it all by myself. Or rather I figured out how to make it fix itself. But we still don't have the file DH wanted. (that's Darling Hobo to you,)Did you carve those pumpkins? Where are the pictures? What are you doing this evening?

Anonymous said...

Halloween's not really my thing. I almost posted about the fact, but didn't want to get lynched. =P

Anonymous said...

LOL @ your signature. That guy must make his rounds cause I've seen similar stuff going on around here. Do you seriously make more money sitting on the curb near WalMart than if you actually flipped burgers at McD's or something? It's hard to believe.

As for Halloween - I go back and forth. Sometimes I hate this holiday and sometimes I get caught up in the kids excitement (ok, and candy sweetens the deal... pun intended ;) )

I was just reading up on the origins of the holiday today and it sucks, but what're you going to do? I think it's weird when churches ban it. I don't know about you, but I don't have any weird rituals planned for tonight. (Except the annual raiding of the kids treat bags once they fall asleep.) :D

Hee hee hee... Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

I think the candy on clearance is the work of the devil.

Who the hell else would mark candy down so much that I buy it by the truckload and eat it all in one sitting.

Anonymous said...

Now that you mention it, Raiding Of The Sweets Ritual is common here, too...haha. Not by me of course....

You won't get lynched by me. I say to each their own. I'd have you over for chili and cornbread if you were closer. ;)

are you high on PB cups? (big cups on sale at Fred's 3 for $1) woohoo.
the picture of you and hubby is a good one. Why don't you use it? I can crop it if you need me to. Oh, and today I caught someone using my wireless internet connection. SCARY.

Anonymous said...

Worker mommy,
hahaha, no kidding. As Doozer puts it, "Not the Lord's Candy"

Anonymous said...

Halloween is an excuse for a party if you are an adult, an excuse to load up on candy if you are a kid, and an excuse to toilet paper someones home if you are a teenager.

The only reason I bother to buy candy is for the kids in the hood. They like to wear costumes and extort people for candy. So why not. It is only one day out of the year after all. Let the kids have a little fun.

I usually go to Halloween parties dressed as a serial killer. Because you know, they always look normal. Like everyone else. This is what the neighbors of serial killers always say anyway.

So I just wear the same crap I always wear. No fake blood. No prop axe. Just regular normal clothes. My perfect serial killer costume.

Anonymous said...

I hate trick or treating. Or trick or treaters. Not that I'd blog that for fear of backlash - and my kid's cute in costume and stuff. I even wore a pink tshirt with a bunny on it. The bunny has vamp fangs.

Anonymous said...

My fat little Tigger was too young for candy this year...so my husband and I took one for the team and are eating it for him. It's rough, but someone's gotta do it.

Now I've totally got a hankerin' for chili & cornbread. And a touch of cheese. Mmmmm...

Anonymous said...

I used to love Halloween. Now that I have to buy candy for the little beggars at my door, I'm not so into it. Funny how that works out.

Anonymous said...

You know what I miss?

Baked pumpkin seeds. Those things were good. I remember back in the day when I would do the Jack-O-Lantern thing we would ALWAYS roast the seeds. After the slime was washed off them.

After the roasting, add a little salt and it was good stuff.

Maybe I will buy a pumpkin on sale now that Halloween is over! Get it for cheap. Make a pumpkin pie and roast me up some seeds.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I know that guy! He does have the worst luck! I mean, running out of gas is bad enough, but in a Walmart parking lot? That just sucks!

Anonymous said...

I'm not a huge Halloween person either, never have been, but I have since discovered that the history of it was a pagan holiday but the Church took it over and used it to "laugh at the devil" because he no longer had power over them because of Christ's work. I thought that was pretty cool, so I teach that to my kids. Halloween is the day we "mock the devil" and tell him that he has no hold over us. So we celebrate only because of that. If other sad people around us don't get the reality of it, at least we do!

Anonymous said...

Forgot to say that the Church's ways of mocking the devil were dressing up like devils, witches, etc.

Anonymous said...

I think all the different takes on the origin of halloween are interesting. Personally I just wonder...whats for dinner?

I love lazy'a costume idea. Granted I'm now a little scared of him.

you know that guy in the parking lot? offer him a donut.

Anonymous said...

I bet if you brought him a can full of gas he wouldn't even take it. I've offered the people who claim they will "work for food" to buy them a sandwich and they've refused, so I'm pretty sure they're only looking for cash.

Anonymous said...

There is a guy that holds a sign on the highway off ramp, "Why lie? I need a beer". I can roll right past him every time.


I have heard that one, and also that people dress up to scare spirits. I don't think anyone can agree to the origin, but dressing up as scary things isn't my idea of fun. I don't like to be scared. :)

I almost hear twilight zone music.

I roasted the seeds. It smells so good. (lotsa salt!)

thalia's child,
I was a little green around the gills giving out my CHOCOLATE last night. :)

the chili turned out SO good. I wish now I'd followed a recipe.

we still gave out candy. I'm a softy like that, and I still want to be neighborly. (read=I caved)

or you could dress up normal and start eating people and boiling their heads. That would be about the same, right?

Anonymous said...


After I carve my pumpkin I put it in the walk in freezer for a day. Then when I put my candle in it, not that candle, and light it, it gives off a scary steam. It's so frightening.

Anonymous said...

Getting sick of Halloween. Honestly, the kids who come to the door, hold out their bags, say nothing and then walk off, same as the guy asking for beer.

Anonymous said...

A mummy is about as scary as I will allow. I thought it a cool idea because they had studied mummies for school.

Then the Oldest was talking about wanting to be Dracula because of Bram Stoker's. I have not let him read that book yet, but I have told him all about it so he likes the idea. When he becomes less of a fradey cat I will whip out the classic! Ha ha!

But yeah, I don't like scary stuff either; I just feel it important to hold to old church traditions, or at least think of our holidays in the ancient ways. Dear Sir and I are sort of ancient people. Well, at least HE is.

Anonymous said...

Amen Sister. We don't do Halloween either, but I took my almost 8 yr old trick or treating for the FIRST time in her life this year. It will be the last time too.

Happy Fall and happy chili eatin'

I think we should have a chili recipe cook off.

Anonymous said...

I was a bah humbug this year. *sigh* Oh well. There's always next year!

Post a Comment

"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe