11 June 2008

Friends, Don't Let Friends Buy Ugly Car Spoilers

Dear Driver of the Black Acura with that Giant Ugly Spoiler,

Am I worth racing while I'm moseying along my 96 Ford Minivan? Was it worth about blowing a rod to pass me and comethisclose to taking off my front bumper? And this while nearly pummeling into the back of a school bus tootling along in your lane?


My minivan must have been a frightening threat to your manhood. Tell me, is it the fancy red pin stripe on the side that has you tucking tail, or in your case, spoiler?



My ever-so insulting vehicle has an engine light on.

I'm composting kid-snack type shrapnel mashed into the back seats.

The tires are balder than Mr Coffee's head.

The van is nearly as old as you are and you are thinking I would be inclined to race..with kids in the back?! Please don't tell me your pride was hurt when you passed us in your car while we openly laughed at you. I just couldn't live with myself knowing I'd hurt your feelers but you can't hold in that kind of laughter.

Laughing At You, Not With You

~Bee occasionally amuses herself by Nascar carpooling


Doozie said...

I'm first and that is final

Doozie said...

that large spoiler guy should know that spoilers are ultra....er.....well you know. And also he should know that you used to drive indy cars. what a dummy

Gen said...

LOL! I got your twitter update about this while I was watching Narnia at the theater. I laughed at a very inappropriate moment in the movie. At least I had my phone on vibrate so I didn't tick people off that way. ;-)

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Oh my. Talk about overcompensating.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh my Bob what a tosser. I am so glad you laughed. I would have laughed too, and probably waved. ;D

Anonymous said...

Did he have a mullet?

Secret Agent Mama said...

He had to have a mullet!

Jaina said...

Lol, you crack me up!

holly said...

i am SOOO glad you laughed at this guy. and that he saw it. what kind of moron....?

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

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