17 June 2008

Gluten. It's What's For Dinner

Summertime is upon us with only two more half-days of school. This means my days will be soaking up sun at the pool. I hope to do more outdoors this year for the kids sake. The pool will be well used, I'm just saying...

Today is uneventful. I'm thinking of taking a book and hanging out in the school parking lot. Twittering from my phone is also fun. I get some good ideas for writing, although I've heard Stephen King once say that if you can't remember your brilliant post idea a day later (let alone hours), then it wasn't worth writing in the first place.

I don't care for the horror genre, but as a brilliant seasoned writer? He has a very astute point.

In other news, I purchased a Diabetic Cookbook. My reason for buying it was the pictures, especially the giant piece of chocolate cake on the front. I'm not diabetic, and I have NEVER done the diet thing. Except for the carb free one, whereas by the end of the day I was ready to eat a FedEx box if someone told me it was a carb. Carb free diets encourage insulin resistance (aka diabetes or diabetic-like symptoms) and seeing I'm fond of my liver, my carb free diet took only one day to ditch.

Also Dr Atkins died clinically obese. I'd say his demise is proof in the pudding substitute.

I love Barnes and Noble (I've worked for them in the past...Borders, too) You could not fathom the plethora of books on Gluten Free diets. Granted some need to eat this way for medical reasons. But for those who willingly cut out dairy, meat, carbs, and gluten? I'd lose it and end up scrounging in the fridge and polishing off the condiments after my daily pot of coffee.

I do grow my own tomatoes and herbs. That's the extent of my voluntary food snobbery.

The truth is, I need carbs. I need gluten. I have no idea what exactly gluten is except a wheat product. I just don't see the sense in eliminating entire chunks of food groups. In light of this I shall leave you with my own revamped version of the food pyramid. Hey, it's what's for dinner.

**Please click to enlarge**


Jaina said...

Haha, you crack me up Bee.

Anonymous said...


I hope Mr. Coffee loves a big woman because you have your dad's genes and a healthy appetite.

One good thing about getting big is you can sit on your sweet thang neighbor.

I hope you have a 1-piece black swimming suit, it will slenderize your body. Have fun at the pool and no cannon balls.

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Well put!

I've read literally dozens of books on nutrition and really? Cuttin' out a whole food group is a baaaad idea.

And what is with the prior commenter up there?! I wants to kick dem in de shins.

holly said...

i love that there's a hershey bar there. just like maslow intended. oh wait, wrong pyramid. no, i'll go with maslow.

oh shit now i see the pop tarts and coffee. niiiice. oh i want a pop tart!!!! damnit!!!

can i say damnit here?

what was i sayin' ? i'm so doped up on tea (coffee flavored!!) that i don't fricken remember. can i say "fricken" here?

ooooh yes. the *BRAIN* needs carbs, my dear. so you're not crazy. well, not specifically because of that...

Bee said...

I am to please

krack dog,
I have my own jeans, they say LANE BRYANT and size "Idontgivesacrap" and my other jeans in size, "notatoothpickwithknockers"

I'm surprised you don't go for real women with curves. Don't dogs need meat, not just bones? I'm just saying....

It's krok..he's been around my blog for years and years. This is his way of showing me how much he loves me. He takes as much as he dishes. :)

HAHA, I was thinking it's Maslow's Food Pyramid when I was making it. Pop tarts and strong black coffee, is there anything better?

That Janie Girl said...

That's funny. You always make me laugh!

Millie said...

*drooling* Mmmmmm... gluuuuuuten...

Doozie said...

I would have totally fit in the taco bell bean burrito with no onions and an extra side of red sauce on that thing

Jo Beaufoix said...

I will live my life by that triangle Bee. It is just perfect. :D

Anonymous said...

i love that you bought a diabetic cook book for the pictures.

that is very funny.

there seems to be this gluten craze over here as well, - i have no idea what it is, and no intention of finding out!

Anonymous said...

God, this has been my woe for a long time now. I've screwed up my mind so much with this diet mumbo-jumbo that I am afraid to eat now.

So now I'm trying the moderation thing, a la Weight Watchers.

I hate being fat. :(

Unknown said...

I did the no carb thing for 2 months before my husband and I went to Jamaica. My husband and I hardly talked to whole trip because I was such a raging bitch!


BTW- Where the guacamole section? In my world, guac deserves it's own food group!

Whistle Britches said...

That Dr. Atkins was a Gluten for Punishment.
I have no idea what that means.

R said...

I need carbs too. LOVE them. I can't get enough. I think that I eat them so much my triglyceride levels are sort of bad. And I am an avid runner and very healthy. Why don't the doctors worry about this?

You don't eat poptarts. Quit lying. :)

Bee said...

You caught me. I don't eat them. I tried a raspberry one just the other day. I haven't had them since I was preggo 10 years ago. Like when did they start making chocolate and smores kinds?!! Now I'm good for another 10 years.

Uncle Joe,
You are so punny.

I did miss guac, pico and hummus. What was I thinking?!

secret agent mama,
Well, mine too. I'm actually eating my daily calories now and losing because of it. Who would have thought you couldn't live daily off of a pot of coffee, nothing until dinner which would include a dinner box of pasta and green salad?

Cake pictures at that. Hmmm, cake.

I hope the Dietary Council gives me a job.

yumm, but you forgot a Kokanee with that group.

I need to share my gluten recipe with you. And you can set out the leftovers to pour down hood vents of offending neighbor's cars. I call it green recycling.

Lia Hollander said...

pooool?? what pooolll? I like pools.

Glad to hear that "diabetic cookbooks" are not about how to cook a diabetic.

(We are quite scrappy, btw.)

Anonymous said...


I do love you.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Actually, you only feel diabetic-y for the first 8 or 10 days on the Atkins diet. After that your blood sugar stabilizes and you suddenly feel better than ever before. Just thought I'd share that from personal experience.

... Paige said...

A friend of mine has a daughter that is allergic to gluten and she is diabetic. It has got to suck to have eating problems caused by medical reasons. I understood that Dr. Atkins died from a head injury a few days after he slipped on an icy sidewalk.

Bee said...

I heard that too, but he reportedly fell due to a stroke. He still was morbidly obese which, death by fall or stroke doesn't really make any difference, just that....DUDE, he should have been fairly fit with his diet, yes? As for gluten allergies, I have family with those..and for that I hope you know, I poke NO fun.

But can you get there without eating the cereal AND the boxes? You are a better man than I am. :)


'We' like P-town peops? Then yes...we can hold our own and even have fun doing it. :) ...as for the cookbook, I just wanted to cook healthier but there is delicious irony in buying a 'diet' cookbook for the cake pictures. Hmmm, cake...

Anne said...

Okay - I finally made it over here. I am soooo slow!

Got Gluten?

ramblin' girl said...

glad to see I'm not the only slow one... and I love the base of the base of the pyramid being coffee... even if you did lump it in with the pop tarts. talk about eating cardboard... anyway, nice to read you again!

Mary Alice said...

I'm with you Bee. I could eat the actual Soth Beach book if the pages had carbs.

Momo Fali said...

I can go carb-free...well, except for that beer thing.

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