22 March 2006


My kids climbed into the van a couple of months ago after school. The boys were chatting on about a party and from the excitement, they could easily be peeled from the ceiling of the van. I get an invitation thrust into my full view, "LOOK!"

"YOU ARE INVITED!", I read the oversized letters on the front and opened the note, "YOU ARE INVITED TO A PARTY FOR...blah blah blah. Saturday." Oh, good. It's a ways off. "...blah blah. RSVP. blah blah. Chuck E. Cheese."

I froze. My worst fear realized. A party at Chuck E. Cheese aka the Elvis impersonating rodent from Gehenna. The very place that strikes fear in every migraine prone parent. Who wouldn't want to shell out $5 to $8 to a kid my son barely knows, to then eat a $55 slice of dough marketed as pizza while enduring noise so loud it makes you sterile? That would be me and don't even get me going on the germs lurking there.

R.S.V.P stands for "RUN, STUPID! Viral Pizza place!"

They should just label the machines in bold letters: "FIND THE LOST STREP VIRUS" and next to it would be "DODGE THE FLU" and another labeled with flashing neon lights: "CRAZY FOR PINK EYE". I endure this for my kids and to support Bath and BodyWorks Anti-Bacterial Line of lotions. I just hope my kids realize how much I do for them when they graduate from college, open their own surgery center and buy me a house with a brand new Mini Cooper. I have a Mini picked out in Cool Blue just waiting for the word.

My kids wanted to go to this party and the R.S.V.P. is in bold just looking at me. I had to do it immediately or I would lose my nerve. Actually, I typically R.S.V.P. right off the bat but why they put R.S.V.P. on invitations anymore, I have no clue. No one R.S.V.Ps anymore. Is it a lost art? Do people not entertain enough to know people DEPEND on how many are going to show up? Am I the only one that does this besides the Fly Lady? Please tell me someone else sees this as valuable.

Long story short, I survived the party because we couldn't go. It was the first weekend I found a bright side to the boys coming down with a cold.

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe