10 March 2006

to the batmobile!

I can't believe I have gotten so much done.

I said I'd be "gone for a cousins wedding". It's true. I took a leave from blogging because DW was at the wedding. AH-HA! You thought I left but no. I'm not mortgaging my house to fly all six of us to AZ. Besides, I needed to get my poop in a group here at the house. Have I ever mentioned how much respect I have for single moms or dads? You have no idea.

There is no school today for parent/teacher conferences and the kids are absolutely stir-crazy. I have kept myself busy spring cleaning ie, vaccuming the cobweb-city ceiling, turning and vaccuming mattresses, washing window sills, and scrubbing walls all around. I believe the walls had enough dirt to build a sod house...a big one, with a garage...a double garage.

My last couple posts have been on the pensive side so I have to post this tidbit of observation to balance things out.

DW does all the driving when we are out. I don't know why, I guess it's the old-fashioned upbringings he and I have. Yes, he still opens my car door. I even make him dinner and get the paper for him to read first. Three years ago, I did however, finally say no to being barefoot and pregnant. Can you blame me? After four kids I just wanted to wear shoes.

As it goes, last week we were flying down the highway, music going, kids in the back making more noise than a Navy flight deck, DW is driving and I'm going on, filling his mind with my usual banter. Traffic starts to slow once we get into P-town and we end up poking along at 35mph. You get a good view of drivers around you.

This is what kills me....

Pray tell, what convinces people to believe, in broad daylight nonetheless, their car can somehow afford them the security and invisibility to scratch their brain through their nose!

This guy next to us was driving down the road and attempting to touch his cranium from the inside. Practically striking oil. It's not like he's driving around in tinted-batmobile windows with picker's anonymity. (Uncle Joe excluded, of course) Does Picker Bob think he is completely invisible?? I laugh and gross out all at once, 'cause that's the kind of juvenile humor that I love. That gets hubby and I in a fit of laughing and discussing pickers. Boogers gross me out to the point of gagging, much to Wayne's amusement. Picker Bob, on the other hand, cracks me up.

So I figure there are at least 9 to 10 kinds of Picker Bob's in this world.

  • The Rub and Sniff:
Those who take the back side of their hand and vigorously rub the nose while sniffing in. What does this accomplish?

  • The Pinch, Roll and Fling also known as PRF:
PRF's pinch just the end of the nose at the nostril and discard with hand down at side. Yeah, that's not obvious or disgusting.

  • The Miner:
Up to your pinky while scratching your cranium. You should just move to Iraq's oil fields. You'd be a big hit.

  • The Invisible Miner:
This much like The Miner but accomplished while operating a motor vehicle.

  • The Blowers and The Wipers:

  • The Redneck Blow:
I have only seen this done in rural Colorado. Predominately used by men. I don't think I will explain it but it is done only with maximum nasal PSI.

  • The Peak:
Those who roll up their tissue to a spear like point and proceed to pick. Widely used by women because that is just SOO much more dainty and ladylike.

  • Kleenex-tra:
"We put the Kleen in Kleenex"
Two boxes of tissue later, you have the job done. Predominately used by children, allergy sufferers and victims of the last flu. (This would be me)

My final advice? Cars do not make you invisible so Kleenex should never be optional.

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