28 February 2006

get an Eiffel of reality

I tuned on the tv last night. I couldn't sleep very well. I would have blogged but I did my fill on the weekend and the creative juices dried up. Why do they call them juices anyway? Do thoughts only come in juice form? What thingy makes the creative juices? I will have to find out.

Anyhoo, back to reality. TV that is. I flipped the on the TV. I don't do this unless I have a laundry pile or some big news thingy happened or maybe an educational channel on How Not To Repeatedly Use the Word Thingy.

I don't get cable or dish anything because I don't have the time besides there are too many good books to read and children to diaper. So there I was being sucked into the vortex of a reality show called The Bachelor in Paris. It's a lame name for a show but that's because The Biggest Loser was taken. I felt so bad for the girl who was sent home bawling off her mascara. Maybe those were her creative juices? Who knows. What I do know is nothing stinks worse than being dumped, except to be dumped on national TV while wearing a dress where your whoo-haas are coming out.

Riding away in the car limo, cute dark-haired chick is crying, swearing to never love again and saying weird incoherent things like, "I'm shocked beyond recognition". It was also annoying how she kept trying to keep her aforementioned-whoo-haas in her dress. Girl, just buy a dress that fits everywhere. Meanwhile Dr. Chiseled-Jaw has found his real love after he has been playing molar hockey with half the women on the show.

He is a doctor. He should know you can catch germs that way. Mouth germs.

What kills me? The script! How many times people can you say, "We had such spark. Such connection". Well, back up the Love Mobile, Sparky! He had enough connection to power the Eiffel Tower elevators. On a weekend. During Tourist Season.

Bachelor thinking: How many girls can I kiss without looking like Dr. Pervy SlobberBob?

So he finds his true love in Paris. I am really happy for them. Soon to be Mrs. Pervy SlobberBob seems like a really sweet gal and I hope it all works out. I just feel bad for the Biggest Loser.

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe