17 February 2006

I Name My Cars

I once lived in a town in Colorado called Grand Junction. It's a small town, at least to me. I'm not big on small towns. I grew up in a big city where they didn't roll up their sidewalks at 9pm.

It's a great place to raise kids and being close to my in laws was a plus. No, really it was a plus. You could call me a country girl with big city heart. I have since learned to go where my heart tells me.

Get out of Mayberry. Go very fast.

I bought my favorite car in Colorado. It was a Honda named Cinderella. Oh, how I miss her Accord-ness. Those four beautiful doors, 5-speeds and economical 32 miles to the gallon. We enjoyed her until we could no longer fit another car seat in the back. I think that was about the time I started having babies left and right.

You can't strap a toddler to the hood of a car, so we upgraded to a van. My embarrassing Ford Minivan. Her name is Stitch as in Lilo and Stitch, the movie. We have an odd habit of naming our vehicles and the list is long and distinguished.

Is there anyone else that does this? Names please.

The Beast: Our Ford F-150 that was destined to getting a new carburetor at least four times a year. She was coveted by our neighbor who scooped her up for a nice penny. He was a chiropractor and also mechanic. I hope he likes doing carburetors.

The Shark was our token beater with bald tires. I am convinced most newly marrieds have the token beater.

Correct me if I am wrong.

Nope, I am not wrong.

The Scoob/Scooby/The Rocket was a nice little Nissan pickup. She served us well until our family outgrew her little cab. Last I heard she had married a monster truck and they were thinking about installing roll bars on their bed(s). They are still living happily ever after.

The Grasshopper: We also had the flat bed work truck with an enormous metal rack affixed to the bed. It looked like wings folded down, like a grasshopper.

The Grasshopper name lasted until Hubby had a great big load to drive out of town. On his way he had some elevations to deal with on the road. After so many hills, he decided to call her The Big Chicken because she took some coaxing to get to the top of the hills. I think her full name was , "COME ON YA BIG CHICKEN!!!"

We had a CRX called The Turtle. She was so fun to drive except when I was learning how to drive on a standard. I attempted to shift from 4th into 5th gear and managed to down shift. That was a surprise. I nearly blew a rod with the RPMs just redlining from 2 to 10 in 1.2 seconds. I'm still picking dashboard pleather out of my forehead.

Mr Coffee and I managed to name a small rental still lovingly referred to as The Pit. The Pit coincidently also affirmed our love for imports. It felt like you were driving while sitting on the floor and I discovered how much I dislike driving while resting my chin on my knees.

Then came our dearest Cinderella.

~insert holy choir music~

You can imagine my horror in selling my lovely Honda Accord named Cinderella. We sold her to buy Stitch, the piece of scrap excuse for a van. Zus, at age 3 named the van after the movie. He was in love with Lilo so this seemed appropriate. So did the thought of naming our Ford Minivan after a dysfunctional spazoid alien. Stitch still stays true to her name.

My funniest memory of Cinderella was also classic dork on my part. I chalk it up to one of my Top Ten Most Embarrassing Moments in my life. Oh, read on but next post.

~Bee now knows how to properly shift into 5th gear.

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"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words."

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe